I’m taking a look at my habitual drinking and making a change to cut back on alcohol in my weekly consumption that is working well for me (for now!)
{I love my wine club, Winc! On the days that I do enjoy a glass, that is 🙂 }
I’ve written before about my internal struggle between wanting to enjoy a reasonable glass of wine with dinner each night (my heart) and my belief that having alcohol every single day is not the best choice of habit (my mind.)
This is not a new topic, but it’s one I’m revisiting after starting habitual drinking again. I want to catch you all up on a change in my weekly consumption that is working well for me (for now!)
Truth: I feel my best when I don’t drink.
Even just one glass of wine leaves me a little bit dehydrated, and I don’t sleep as well at night.
I love the taste and culture around wine and have no intention of giving up drinking entirely. I also don’t have a problem with overdrinking and rarely over consume, but it is easy to turn one glass into two with a heavy pour or few extra splashes.
Research says that women should have no more than seven drinks per week for optimal health.
A daily drink plus a little more at social events equals a lot more than seven. (Those lucky men have a lot more wiggle room with their recommendation at less than 14 drinks per week.)
I highly recommend listening to Brooke Castillo’s program Stop Overdrinking, which I have written about before. I was in agreement with every single point she makes about all the reasons people get conditioned to drink alcohol habitually (which is different from alcoholism).
While I haven’t been a program participant, I have listened to her free videos on the topic and she does an amazing job explaining the science behind why we reach for that habitual glass.
You don’t have to be drinking a bottle a night to want to cut back – her program is for anyone who just wants to drink less than they currently are.
Reasons To Have A Drink
Brooke talks a lot about classical conditioning and all the reasons people pop open a bottle:
- a happy day
- a sunshine day
- a cold winter day
- a difficult parenting day
- a good parenting day
- Because you’re a grown up
- Because it’s delicious
There are so many “good” reasons to drink that it is easy to talk myself into a glass. It’s not as easy to talk myself out of it.
Reasons To Cut Back On Alcohol
There are a host of negative health effects associated with alcohol, including inflammation, hormone interference, possible weight loss resistance in women my age, empty calories
Because I don’t sleep as well.
Wine costs money.
The list of reasons not to drink is a lot shorter than the reasons to have a drink, thus I find that I often can talk myself into having one.
*There are other important reasons not to drink, but I’m writing in the context of my general daily life and not including reasons such as having to drive, sickness, emotional, health, etc.
The Change: Weekdays Are Alcohol Free
All of that to say: I decided I wanted to drink less and cut back on alcohol in general. Like most goals, just admitting I wanted to drink less to myself probably wasn’t going to create any real change. See above. So I created some structure to my change: no alcohol Monday through Thursdays.
I’ve been doing this since January with success.
The first week it was hard, and I found myself thinking about pouring some wine at 5:00 nearly every day. But the second week it was easier, and by the third week (don’t they say it takes 21 days to break a habit?) I wasn’t even thinking about it during the week. Telling Thomas about my new goal and having him support me with some accountability was also a huge help.
I give myself the option to drink during the week if we go on a date or I have a social event (I’m not trying to deprive myself socially!) but truthfully that hasn’t happened yet in two months. Our weeknights are pretty boring these days!
If You Cut Back On Alcohol During The Week, Do You Drink More On The Weekend?
One might think so, but actually no. Because I’m not telling myself that I can’t have it at all aka restricting – I just have to delay the pleasure to the weekend.
It does make the weekends more special, and I do look forward to Fridays a little bit more because of the fun of having a drink, but I don’t find myself going crazy on the weekends. Like I said, I haven’t had a problem with drinking too much because there’s nothing worse than a hangover!
Is This A Long Term Plan?
I honestly don’t know if I’ll stay on this schedule forever. I’ve have considered switching to every other day or swapping Sunday for Wednesday or something like that, but because I wouldn’t want to open a fresh bottle of wine on a Wednesday, I think it makes the most sense to keep the weeknights in a row alcohol free.
Moreover, I also wonder if summertime will make me want to drink more. Because it’s “it’s summertime!” a good reason to drink? (See above again!) Ideally though, I think this weekday/weekend schedule makes the most sense fun-wise and health-wise so I do hope to stick to it.
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog says
Haha, loved this chirpy post! I don’t drink but pretty much everyone around me does – it’s always a celebration! 🙂
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
Sarah says
There are no good reasons to drink! Once you’re educated on the awful effects and aren’t dependant on it anymore for escaping life you’ll find abstaining is so much less exhausting than setting all these rules for yourself. Ethanol is a prettily packaged ageing, cancer causing toxin that cancels out any nutritious goodness you put in your body. The sober life is the glow life!
Randy says
Kath, I commend you for taking a close look at this topic.
You care about yourself and you are trying to seek a schedule of moderation and that is something that can only benefit you.
I think you are on the right track, modification of a plan of action is good when we are trying to balance the ebb and flow of our life and trying different ways to achieve our desired goal and this can only help us.
Thanks so much for all that you give here!
Randy
elle says
I love this. I cut back on drinking at home last year, and I found Seedlip (which I think you posted about last year?) They have more varieties now (a citrus and a spice one) and I love making a little Seedlip and tonic with an orange peel or some bitters as a “drink” in the evenings. It is so refreshing in summer, too, when normally I would turn to rose’.
KathEats says
Yes – I love Seedlip! I would love to try the citrus one. Going to look for it. Sometimes it’s all about the act of drinking (aka swallowing a liquid 🙂 ) and not as much the alcohol itself that I chase.
Liz says
I relate to this SO much!! I honestly do have a tendency to over drink occasionally, and while my husband and I almost always wait until the kids are in bed to have a cocktail, I still struggle with how much is too much. We have also been making an effort to restrict drinking to the weekends only, but there seems to always be something that gets in the way of it lately (book club, euchre club, a raise at work for my husband, etc – like you said, it’s easy to find a reason to want to have a drink!). I’m making a VERY concerted effort this week to not pour a glass of wine on a week night. I like what you said about delaying the pleasure, I’m definitely going to remind myself of that more often. Thanks for being real about an issue that not many people talk much about!
Kelli says
I follow the no drinking during the week rule. I do have a glass of something if there is a date night or birthday. Other than that I wait till the weekend and sometimes if we don’t have plans on a weekend day I also won’t drink. I’m like you in that I can admit to myself that I feel better without drinking. While sometimes I missed a glass of wine or cocktail I actually liked that while pregnant I had a legitimate excuse not to drink because I always felt good when I woke up.
KathEats says
Same!
Nicole says
Hi Kath,
First off I just want to congratulate you on baby Birch! I have been a long time reader but have always been shy to post a question or comment! I really feel like you have things figured out in terms of life, balance and kids-both your kids seem so happy! I definitely refer to your blog often especially when it comes to parenting updates:)
The topic of alcohol moderation is something I too think about/struggle with a bit as I really enjoy a glass of wine or a beer. I just had a baby in December and am breastfeeding. I know there is so much mixed research on this but I am wondering if you time your alcohol consumption in regards to waiting 2 + hours after feeding etc?
KathEats says
Thanks for your comment Nicole! Nope, I don’t time anything, but I also don’t drink more than 1-2 drinks at a time (2 would be with a meal and it’s not like I’m slamming them down – 1-2 hours spread). Kelly Mom says if you can drive you can nurse – no need to pump and dump. If I was going out partying (which I wouldn’t unless my baby was sleeping all night!) I would just use a bottle of pumped milk.
Nicole says
Thank you so much for the quick response Kath!
SS says
This is a great post and I am in no way examining your personal habits Kath. I appreciate your blog and your honesty with this post and always with parenting. I just think it is important, that the alcohol consumption and breastfeeding question has a much more thorough personal decision for people. I encourage anyone with questions to look at full info about alcohol and breastfeeding. The Kelly Mom site you refer to has much more info in the guidelines, and it is important for people to have a broader picture. Thanks again for a great post.
Amy says
Hi Kath,
I too love a glass of wine, but have also found that I feel better when I’m not consuming alcohol. I have been doing exactly what you’ve described, keeping weeknights booze-free (except for the odd special occasion), for about a year now, and I have drastically cut back on the amount of wine bottles I go through. After a while, I realized what a habit it had become, because there are many weekends now when I don’t have even a single drink! It helps that my husband isn’t really into wine – opening a bottle is a bigger commitment if I usually have to finish it myself (or accept that some will go down the drain)!
Amy
KathEats says
Glad to hear I’m not alone! Saving money on wine is definitely a plus 😉
Hillary says
I like that you are transparent about this. As an alcoholic (sober for nearly 6 years!), I saw my everyday habit turn into a craving turn into a disease. I’m not saying at all that you have a problem, but being aware of your drinking habits is a great first defense. Well done! Having an accountability partner is also key to success. Sometimes it’s just about being honest with ourselves and that’s important to share..I’m sure many can relate!
KathEats says
Thanks for sharing
Sara says
I really like that you’re bringing attention to this topic. Even if someone isn’t an alcoholic, it’s very easy to fall into bad habits when it comes to drinking. My husband and I cut down on the habitual drinking after work (typically after the kids went to bed) and have noticed a significant difference in my mood and overall health. I would notice that I’d feel on edge and a bit anxious any morning after having more than one drink. I would also notice much worse sleep quality and suffer from dehydration (even if I wasn’t full blown hungover, like in college!) We find it’s easier to stick to the habit if we make a nice cup of tea or I’ll go for a walk after dinner now that it’s light outside. I think you’ve given the advice before that it’s always easier to “add than subtract”, so try to think of things that way! We kicked things off by going alcohol free for 30 days and while we are drinking wine and beer again now, we try to limit ourselves to weekends and maybe only a singe drink at a time. I also really, really don’t like our Mom culture of “needing” a glass of wine after a crazy day with kids…as much as I sometimes feel the need to unwind, I don’t think this is a very healthy attitude 🙂
KathEats says
Agree with all of this!
Colleen says
I’m glad you are tackling this topic and finding what works best for you. Sounds like you found a good compromise for yourself! Alcoholism runs in my family, and I have certainly struggled to find a good middle ground. I actually find it easier these days to abstain altogether than to cut back. It’s weird but it’s so much easier for me to say it’s “off limits” than to try and drink some days but not other days. I have been alcohol free about a year now and have never felt more healthy! Will I always be alcohol free? I’m not sure. But for now, it works. I also noticed that entering my 30’s brought a whole new awful level of hangovers and I don’t miss those one bit! haha
KathEats says
I think all or nothing works well for a lot of different things with my personality. It’s easier for me to either have an “on day” or an “off day” than to have just a little bit everyday.
Kate says
Last year I began to really notice how much worse I felt after even a drink or two (anxiety, sleep issues, dehydration). I took 9 months off of drinking, and honestly didn’t miss it very much. I have gone back to having a drink on a special occasion, when I feel like it. My husband isn’t a big drinker so that helps! As an alternative, we like to make kombucha spritzers with seltzer sometimes in the evenings. With the bubbles, it’s just about as satisfying as having a drink!
Meghan says
Great post! I rarely drink during the week, maybe have up to three glasses on a Friday or Saturday night, or don’t drink at all on the weekend. For three days I was at my husband’s work retreat and drank way differently than my normal routine. I was never drunk, but between noon and midnight had about 5-6 drinks each day. Many times I just had a drink in my hand because that’s what everyone was doing. I just feel so yucky and not myself today! I wish I would have thought to order club soda and lime. I need to remember that for next year!
KathEats says
A lot of times it’s the drink in hand that’s more important than the alcohol, but it’s hard to remember to change to a seltzer and lime sometimes!
Brittany says
Great topic! I try to stick to not drinking the night before a workout. As I get older (entering the last year of my 30’s!) I find that even one glass of wine or beer affects me far more than it used to. Since I workout Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri mornings and one morning on the weekend, I allow myself a beer or glass of wine on Tuesday nights, and then the celebratory Friday evening and usually on Saturday too. I do find this much harder to stick to in the summer, because a nice cold beer or glass of chilled wine after work on a summer evening is SO refreshing!
KathEats says
I like your plan! I have pondered a mid-week drink for Wednesday instead of Sunday maybe but it does interrupt the flow of opening a bottle…
Kelly says
Yep, totally agree with you on all the above. I think not drinking through the week is a great plan, but see…I opened a new bottle of wine on Saturday night, and I have half the bottle left, and here it is Monday:(((( ugh, the struggle is REAL.
KathEats says
Haha!! That is one drawback – the debate about opening a bottle if you’re only having one glass. I actually did a test a week ago with two identical bottles. I opened one on Sunday – poured a glass – and vacuumed the air out. I had friends over on Friday and we opened a fresh bottle and compared them. 3/4 of us did prefer the fresh one, it was close enough that we decided it would not ruin the wine to open and vacuum it.
Jayne says
I’m currently pregnant so not doing this right now, but if I only want one glass, by husband and I will split a can (Underwood, etc), which is about 2 glasses.
Kate says
LOVE this experiment! #ForScience
Maggie says
I really enjoyed this post and learning about your thinking process with changing drinking habits for yourself. I’m pregnant right now and am really enjoying the ‘forced reset’ and how good I feel without alcohol or the pressure to participate and have a drink at a social event. It is helping me see how drinking, deciding what is too much, etc, were taking up a lot of mental energy, and I want to enact a plan similar to yours once the baby is born and wine and cocktail hour are back on the table again. Thanks for your honesty and sharing your perspective on this.
Vicki says
Great post Kath!
I’m the same as you and only drink at weekends unless it’s a sate night or similar. This has been my normal for some years now and it works for me. We don’t always drink at the weekend either. Recently I’ve been drinking gin and tonic if I know I only want one glass and don’t want to open a bottle.
As I’ve got older I’ve realised I hate feeling hungover and alcohol really affects my sleep! Not good on a week night.
Mary says
About a year ago, I did the same thing and I follow it still today! With that being said there are weeks that a glass of wine is needed on a Tuesday night because it’s been a incredibly stressful day and I need to relax and nothing else is working. But 90% of the time I only drink on the weekends and sometimes I find I don’t even want it then. The downside of this for me is I have discovered I’m very sensitive to alcohol. I wake up some times after 1 glass with a horrible headache! Which is really frustrating because like you I love the taste and the experience of drinking a glass of wine!
KathEats says
I could see myself getting into an “every now and then for a random reason” weekly drink too – esp in the summer – but I think this reset has been such a good thing for me to realize that daily is not ideal.
Tonya says
Great topic and comments! I, too, have given up weekday wine. I find myself saving it for special occasions more and more. I’m really into my teas right now. Wasn’t even a conscious decision. Just listened to my body. It doesn’t like dehydration. LOL
Chef Hannah says
Tomorrow I’ll be booze-free for two months. Feel great. 🙂 And a note about your salad dressing Instagram—“Best by” means just that. It is the manufacturer’s way of making sure their product tastes as they want it to taste (fresh). It doesn’t mean it’s going to “expire” tomorrow or become unsafe. 🙂
KathEats says
I know 🙂 That’s why I’m continuing to eat it! I just won’t let it sit in there for months.
Julianna says
Hi! This doesn’t sound like it will apply to you and your “all or nothing” preference, but maybe some of your readers with different drinking habits that they want to change will appreciate this idea. One thing that worked for me when I was trying to reduce the amount that I drank was to cut back by one drink at a time. If I would typically have one drink, I would have none. If I would typically have two drinks,I would have one. And if I typically would have had three drinks (probably my max), I would have two. I’ve kept this philosophy up for a couple of years and now it just seems like my new normal. Thanks for sharing this post. I appreciate it and all of the comments!
KathEats says
I think that’s a great idea too.
Anna says
I love this! I loosely try to follow a similar structure. I almost always have a drink (or two!) on Fridays & Saturdays but don’t have alcohol on weeknights unless my fiancé and I go out for a weeknight date or we go to a social event. I similarly feel just kind of dehydrated and not my best if I’m drinking every day. It ultimately helps me to really enjoy the drinks I do have!
Sandra Arcus says
Hi Kath, this really is such a debatable/sensitive subject and everyone has their own opinion. But as a 55 year old woman who like most of your demographic of readers I too was like you all in my mid 30’s enjoying the odd glass of wine through the week. Not many excuses needed, stressful day, good day, kids doing well at school, kids not doing well at school and so it goes on. The trouble is alcohol is a highly addictive accepted social drug that in time, and it can take many years, will at the end of the day cause problems. Jump forward to my late 40’s and the amount of alcohol I consumed had increased greatly as you do need more over time get the same desired effect that you could get in the early days. This is the power of the drug. There are so many books, websites, blogs etc. devoted to this subject and the science of alcohol and what it does physically and mentally to you. Towards the end of last year I developed a blood disorder due directly to the amount of alcohol I was consuming and the only way to fix it was to stop. I was still working full time, going to the gym 4 days a week, looking after a household/family all the while drinking to excess probably 5 out of 7 nights of the week. To be honest I was relieved to now have an incentive to quit and haven’t had any since last October. If you really think about it – if you are deciding that something that you consume by choice is doing you harm and you are restricting your intake there is something wrong. I certainly don’t preach to people and it is quite surprising how many people now choose not drink alcohol. But I have read your blog since the beginning and this is a subject close to my heart and wanted to share my view point. It has no discrimination at all on the type of person that can become addicted to it and everyone should keep in mind it is a drug – just a socially acceptable one.
KathEats says
Thanks for sharing your story.
Jen says
Great post! So relatable
Chelsea says
I stopped drinking about 6 months ago and have never felt better. I was never a big drinker but I noticed that when I would drink, I had a hard time stopping and would overdo. There’s a strong history of alcoholism in my family so it wasn’t something I wanted to mess with. It’s the right choice for me but not for everyone. When I go out now, I either have soda water, kombucha, or a Shirley Temple (they’re REALLY good!).
KathEats says
Haha they are really good! Glad you’ve found a good routine 🙂
Annie says
This is exactly the routine that I follow myself! It’s SO easy to just pour a glass each night (especially because my husband works in the wine industry so we have easy access!) but I find that keeping it to the weekends makes it more special and exciting, and I don’t miss it during the week. I also don’t find myself going overboard on the weekends, just like you! Thanks for opening this topic for conversation. 🙂