We’re nearly a year into the pandemic. This year has made us question everything. Here’s what I am excited to add back and what I’ve decided I can live without.
We’re down to bare bones in the weekly schedule
In a lot of ways this pandemic has been like doing an elimination diet. We’ve been stripped of so many of the activities and routines that were assumed to be givens and we’re running on the bare minimum.
What will be the first thing you add back?
I know I’m not the only one who enjoyed the quiet at first.
At first, clearing my calendar of all appointments and obligations – even the social engagements – felt a little relieving.
I am someone who doesn’t like a lot scheduled on my calendar. I prefer impromptu events and decisions made in the moment based on how I’m feeling. (Especially as a mother.) I need space to unwind between activities. I think I am becoming more of an introvert as I age.
In the beginning, a totally clear calendar felt freeing.
This past year has taught us all so much about what is and isn’t important in our weekly routines.
As I sit here with all the restrictions still in place, I am eager to add back ALL THE THINGS.
But when I really sit down to think about it, what do I really want to add back?
What I Want To Add Back
1 / A weekly date night out
Date nights are sacred to me.
They are special not just because you’re eating in a restaurant and having someone else do the cooking and dishes (although that sweetens the pot immensely!) but it’s the uninterrupted, undivided conversation that I cherish the most.
At home it’s a challenge to have an uninterrupted adult conversation until after the kids are in bed, and by then we’re usually too tired to discuss anything with gusto.
I love that when dining out you’re not really in control of the timing of your dishes. You are forced to sit there and talk to each other (without phones or TV!) until the meal is complete.
It’s kind of like a guided meditation.
We could try to do this at home if we choose to eat super late (like we do sometimes when we make a special effort with Blue Apron meals!), but it’s just not as easy or as fun as dining in a restaurant.
I also can’t wait to support our local food scene again. I’ve been saving up in our budget and buying gift certificates in the meantime so we have a financial plan when our date nights resume.
Thomas about to eat a bushel of crabs a few years back!
2 / Travel
It’s probably the “you can’t” that makes me want it more, but the travel itch is super strong right now (obviously to all the warm places). I am glad we can at least drive to house-to-house rentals during this time. Once we feel comfortable with airplane travel, up up and away!
I haven’t been to Europe since college, and Thomas has never been. We thought about planning a trip a few years ago but then little Birchie came along! This year has made me realize how short life is and we can’t postpone all travel until the kids are older.
I’ve been researching some ways to use travel rewards cards for our family of four to go to some new places. TBD on how that all goes!
During the pandemic we have really gotten closer as a family, but a change of scenery is always a blessing.
3 / Indoor kid activities
The trampoline park, the Discovery Museum, KidZone, friends’ playrooms, the library.
At the beginning of the pandemic I was thinking that the timing wasn’t all that bad for us because we couldn’t really jet around the world or go All The Places with a two-year-old anyways.
But then this winter, it has hit me exceptionally hard that we literally have nowhere to go but outside in the cold.
When Mazen was two we had tons of activities, including just spending two hours at the gym on a Saturday morning while he bounced around with his toddler friends in the indoor play structure. Maybe after that we would take him to the warm indoor pool for a swim.
Our list of fun things to do at home is much, much shorter for both kids. I know many of you parents are feeling the same. I’d love to sign Mazen back up for indoor basketball or take him indoor roller skating, which was something we loved to do in the few years prior.
I would also really like to take the kids to the movies!
What I Can Continue to Live Without
1 / Pedicures
I haven’t gotten one since October of 2019!!!
While I do think a pedicure every now and then can do wonders for the feet, spending money on my toes is money I would rather put towards one of the above activities. I’m realizing how much I cherish experiences. I have a gel kit for home and no one looks at my feet anyways.
Now don’t get mad at me if I post an Instagram photo of painted toes a year from now, but it’s on the list of things I really haven’t missed. Both time and money saved.
2 / The Gym
Is that a shocker?! Thomas and I are a bit divided on this one.
You guys know how much I used to LOVE my group ex classes at the gym.
I do miss the community a lot! But almost a year without having to leave my house to workout, and I can’t say I’m missing it all that much with the set up we have at home now.
Thomas really misses his after-work routine, so he votes to add it back. But I am on the fence because my workouts at home are SO time efficient. I think I would only go to the gym on the weekends, and then is the cost really worth it??
I have a feeling when all is said and done, we will rejoin for the community alone. But it’s one of those things that I have questioned.
3 / Shopping in stores
Haven’t missed shopping one bit.
Admittedly, I have never been a big shopper. I think I’ve spent less this year on “stuff” than I ever have – clothes included.
I have a clearer picture of what my values are when it comes to spending money. Experiences >>>> stuff.
I’m still really enjoying:
- The expanded number of restaurants having a take-out option if dining in isn’t possible
- Using curbside services so I don’t have to get out of my car
- Telemed doctor visits (always hated going in the with germs everywhere anyway)
- Time saved by having virtual meetings with no travel time (like for school-related events)
- Not having to shake hands or touch people – just call me a porcupine!
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog says
Where I live the virus is pretty much under control – I still go out, just less frequently – but I do miss dining out and meeting friends more often!
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
Kath Younger says
That’s great!
elle says
I will add back: going out with friends! seeing my family more! Travel! Browsing in stores., especially book stores, author events, in person classes for photography and writing.
I will keep: Telemed visits for most things (maybe add back in person therapy), at home workouts instead of gym (I have my spin bike, treadmill and weights), Zoom meetings with clients, local CSA delivery instead of just relying on big grocery store.,
Sally says
Suggestions for travel rewards: I have the Chase Sapphire Preferred card which is my “first in wallet”. I use it for everything and pay it off every month. The points are worth more on travel related purchases – hotel, airline tickets, etc. My husband has the American Airlines rewards card and uses it similarly – all purchases go on it so he racks up airline miles for us. Pre-pandemic, we mostly traveled on points! They’re definitely burning holes in our pockets now during Covid, but we’re excited to cash in all these points once it’s safe to travel again!
Kath Younger says
I just got the Sapphire Preferred <3
la says
Great advice! Buy absolutely everything you spend money on when possible. Pay it off, close the account and begin again with the next card that has a good reward deal going on. Get cards in you and your husbands names. Best cards we’ve gotten are chase sapphire, american airlines, southewst with companion pass and IHG hotel card. The points guy is a great website!
Courtney says
Ahh! Please do not close the card when you are no longer using it, that will cause a decrease in your credit score. I do agree that using your card for everything and paying it off is a useful tool.
Eliza says
As with many people, it wasn’t that my calendar cleared because of the pandemic, but that I was expected to meet the same workload as usual, only from an inadequate work from home setup. Managing a work crisis when I am alone in my house and don’t have my colleagues around is truly a nightmare. Before the pandemic, working from home was an occasional treat. Now, I hate it more than anything. I wish I could “add back” returning to the office, but my employer is repurposing our old office space and we’ve been told to clean out our offices and work from home indefinitely.
I will enjoy “adding back” going to restaurants, and running without a mask.
Kathleen says
Number one thing I miss is the thrill of a shared, large group experience: concerts, plays, sporting events, street festivals…these things used to anchor my calendar every year and provide both something to look forward to and some unforgettable memories. For me, it’s the one thing you just can’t replicate virtually. I’ll never take them for granted again.
Kath Younger says
Agreed – it’s not the same! I have never been a huge fan of crowds, but not that there aren’t any I really do miss them.
Ellen says
Things I might never do again:
1.) Large, crowded races. I can’t wait to do a small local 5K or 5-miler, but the big events that take up a whole day, no.
2.) Festivals in school gyms. Love my kids, hope to never, ever do these again!
Things I can’t wait to do:
1.) Live theater, movies, and concerts, although I think I will be a LOT pickier about concerts. My kids are older, so my husband and I had gotten in a groove of seeing a lot more live music. I’ll still take a chance on a crowded venue to see a band that I really love, but I’ll probably prefer outdoor venues or certainly less-crowded ones.
2.) Just going to a restaurant and sitting down and being served.
3.) Hot yoga. This is what I’m craving lately.
Kath Younger says
Yes 100% on the hot yoga. Definitely not something you can easily replicate at home.
Laura Rose says
I love this post and discussion, Kath! The topic is something that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. For me, life was quite different pre-Covid: I’ve since changed careers and left the arts and entertainment industry, got married and became a stepmom to an 11-hear old boy, and moved from a downtown condo to a suburban area. Life couldn’t be more different!
What I can’t wait to welcome back:
– Hugs. In general! I will hug all of my people so close someday.
– Date nights! My husband and I are still newlyweds and have been missing out on these.
– Socializing freely with friends. There are so many I haven’t seen since pre-Covid.
– For my stepson, in-person school. He’s doing all that he can with at home learning but it’s not a fit for what he needs, especially the social aspect.
What I won’t miss:
– Super crowded situations, like festivals and large scale running races: We simply will avoid these until we feel that it’s safe to return.
– In person volunteer meetings: It’s been a wonderful change to simply adjust these to be remote. I have been able to contribute more to my volunteer organizations because of this.:
– Previously germy situations. I LOVE that the world is now more carefully thinking about hand hygiene and keeping a little physical space in between each other.
Kath Younger says
100% on the previously germy situations! And happy wedding <3
(Another) Kathleen says
Hugs?! Haha, one of my favorite things about this pandemic is that people–especially those I am not all that close to–no longer try to hug me! I do not miss that one bit.
I sure miss meals with friends and family, and face-to-face church community though.
Maria says
This is such an interesting idea! I agree with almost all of the things you miss, especially travel. But it’s been hard with a 3.5 year old. I will enjoy taking her to the library and hanging out with her in the local coffee shop afterwards or simply getting to go to grandma’s house and going INSIDE. She will be thrilled. Having just moved to Crozet, I have yet to make a group of mom friends, so I do hope that opportunities for that will arise soon. Otherwise, this pandemic has suited my very introverted personality.
While I do miss seeing people’s faces when I do the occasional in person grocery shop, I hope that when people ARE sick, they know it’s best to either stay home or where a mask. I know I plan to continue mask wearing, at least during flu season.
Kath Younger says
We can be mom friends when we come out of this dark time 🙂
Jo says
This is so interesting and something I’ve been thinking about alot recently…I’m in the UK so we are currently in full lockdown: homeschool, work from home, no non-essential businesses open.
I want to keep Zoom meetings that would normally involve going somewhere in the evening, travelling to and from. I’m on a couple of committees for my kids acitivites and I have LOVED not having to go out for these – it is much more time effective. I’ve also loved not having the pressure to go or be anywhere at a particular times and I think we will try to be really discerning about what activites our boys do in the future – I don’t like running them around every evening in the dark to various activites. I’ve also enjoyed not having to spend every weekend at their friends birthday parties. I did however, used to get really antsy at the weekends if we didn’t have any plans but thankfully these feelings have gone and I hope I will be more content at home doing ‘nothing’ in the future.
I can’t wait for Kids to be back at school, I can’t wait for the cinema and theatre to reopen. I can’t wait for date night in a retaurant (although have also loved some wonderful restaurant delivery during lockdown, eaten in my PJs). I can’t wait to have some options available as to what to do! I can’t wait to look around a bookshop, meet a friend for coffee, take the kids for tea and cake after school, go to the swimming pool and have a SPA day with girlfriends!
Megan says
Travel (though we are not planning to fly for awhile…maybe end of 2021…for now, road trips and camping are on the agenda!) Bars and restaurants, concerts and just feeling more free.
Also–SCHOOL!
I am anxious, though…after seeing so many people behave so recklessly, it will be hard to feel truly comfortable with many folks.
Kath Younger says
I agree. There is so much trust lost that even if you told me the virus was 100% gone I’d still feel weird getting close.
Meghan says
Good post Kath! Things I miss: my parents or in-laws keeping the kids for the weekend, dinner parties, large corporate cocktail parties/ fundraisers, amusement parks, professional sporting events, the theatre, live comedy, travel to wherever I want. Eating inside Chick fil a and not in our car. Lol
Things I can continue to do without: school concerts, in person meetings, meeting, meetings, kids’ friend birthday parties, races (too time consuming for my life), sitting in the middle seat on an airplane, standing right next to people in lines.
Things I want to keep: outdoor events that necessarily would not have been outdoors before but now are. We tail gate at the ski lodge. We had outdoor Thanksgiving (we live in Northern Ohio). We just had my nephew’s birthday party outdoors. There was a foot of snow and it was 28 degrees, but we had so much fun! There’s no bad weather, only bad clothing!
Kath Younger says
Love that last quote 🙂
Chelsea says
My last pedicure was in October 2019 too and my toenails are the healthiest that I can remember.
I too never want to shake people’s hands!
Kath Younger says
Haha our toenails are probably very happy!
Cat says
I really enjoyed reading this post and the replies! I have very similar views to most of you.
I can’t wait to see family and friends again, and be allowed inside people’s houses. Having some childcare will be nice too… lockdown with a baby and a 3yo has been intense!
I am totally on board with mask wearing, hand sanitizer everywhere, and not shaking hands ever again, lol, bring on all the hygiene measures!!
coco says
great post! Things to add back:
1) face to face school for the girls.
2) more people in the office
3) be able to visit grand ma in china.
4) international travels. we’ve been doing domestic travels, while not completely normal, we feel safe enough to continue.
Dana says
I would love to hear your travel ideas!
Kath Younger says
I just got the Chase Sapphire Preferred card for the 60k points and we’re getting some business ones too so we should have a bunch of points for a free trip when this pandemic is over : )
Barbara says
I Miss concerts and plays. Wandering around an art gallery. Lunch in a cafe with a good book. Visiting family. Enjoying new restaurants.
Yep. Handshaking , don’t miss. Huggers, yep, step away.
This has been like a reset button.
samantha says
Not having to shake hands or touch people – just call me a porcupine! — This is my favorite!
I miss wine/beer festivals the most and live music. LOVE ordering takeout from places that use to not offer it (I.E, MAS tapas) i hope the never stop!
Lauren says
Love this post! This past year has really been a good reflection period. I am living in NYC with no kids, so my everyday looks a bit different than yours (and many others in the comments), but here are a few of my thoughts:
I have gotten really good at doing “nothing”- I used to feel anxious if I didn’t have any plans on weekends, and now I really embrace it.
Working from home- LOVE this- stress levels down so much. I work in media so there is a “hospitality” aspect that is missing, but would be happy to add those lunches, dinners and parties back in… while still working from home. It’s amazing to think about a year ago we thought our industry “couldn’t” work from home and how we have absolutely been proven wrong! I won’t be going back before next year, and hoping that hybrid models are the new norm!
Gatherings at friends’ homes- I am in my early 30s, so while I was still going out frequently, we started embracing hanging out at each others apartments a bit more. Since the pandemic, this has definitely grown! It’s nice to be able to stay comfy and an added plus is no lines or (potentially gross!) bathrooms! My boyfriend and I have also moved into a newer, bigger apartment with outdoor space so I’m excited to host people as the weather warms up!
Money- WOW, have I saved money this year. Previously, I would easily drop a couple hundred dollars per weekend on dinners out, happy hour, drinks etc. of course I am excited to bring this back, but it’s crazy to think about my old spending habits!
The gym- this one is interesting, because like you I have been an avid gym goer. I actually started working out in a gym when I was 12!! But now that I have my home workout space set up, I’m not really interested in going back! I think in the future I would sign up for some group classes, but my days of doing solo workouts at the gym may not be coming back! It is so easy to decide at 12:00 that you want to workout, and be moving by 12:02!!
One thing I can’t wait to go away, is everything having a covid disclaimer ie “due to the current circumstances….” 😉
The list goes on!! But these are some of my topline thoughts 🙂
Kath Younger says
I enjoyed reading your list!