Things I’m Afraid To Tell You 1.0
Things I’m Afraid To Tell You 2.0
I just re-read the first two versions of this post, and I don’t know if I have anything quite as dramatic to share as the previous two. But I thought now would be a good time to write another rendition of this post because I do have some thoughts swirling around that will feel good to get out on paper, er, typing!
Do you even cook anymore?
Someone asked me recently if I have lost my love for cooking and the truth is: yes I have. You know how there is the saying “Traveling with kids is a trip not a vacation?” I feel the same about cooking with kids at home. Creative cooking is something I like to take my time doing, without distraction or hurry. It’s so hard to come up with recipes when one child is begging to go outside and the other is crying for your attention on the floor (I’ll let you guess which child is which
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My mission each day is to get food that we all will eat on the table as fast as humanly possible!!! We spend so much time creating meals and cleaning the kitchen for the four of us 3x a day, that when I do have some leisure time the last thing I want to do is go back to the kitchen and make a mess again. I remember having a similar reaction when Mazen was a toddler. I embraced the prep day with gusto (even mincing my garlic in advance) so meals took as little time to cook as possible. But I do know from having an older child that as soon as Birch is safe to play without my eyes on him at all times, cooking will get easier again.
Thomas and I had a lot of fun cooking together before Birch was born, and I know we will get back there. We do still cook a lot on the weekends, but usually we have to trade off watching Birch and that is often my role (because Thomas loves to grill on the weekends – not because he doesn’t love playing with the kids). I’m very glad to have married (another) man who loves cooking, but sometimes that means I let him do his thing and am happy to be the one with the kids. All that to say: please give me some grace while Birch is a toddler. I’ll do my best to focus on recipes that I can make during nap time! (Or kid friendly ones I can throw together while keeping an eye on them, like Sheet Pan Pancakes!)
Birchie Loves Peppa Pig
And that must mean….he has looked at a screen….duh duh dunnnnn. Mazen and Birch have been watching Peppa Pig together! I know some of you will freak because screen time isn’t “allowed” until the age of 2, but I am not worried about a little Peppa Pig. I’m definitely not planting Birch in front of the TV for 8 hours a day. I personally LOVE Peppa, and I think it’s so cute that we have a little show we can watch together. I have missed her since Mazen moved on to all the obnoxious You Tube shows. (Speaking of growing up, guess who has a girlfriend that he has been Facetiming?!)
Things are slowing down around here
In January I was jazzed to wake up at the crack of dawn and get my workday going. I was listening to entrepreneur podcasts and asking myself where I wanted to be in five years and hitting the ground running everyday. My brain was bubbling over with ideas. Over the past month, as our world has turned upside-down, I find myself wanting to slow waaaaay down. That’s partly because ad revenue across all industries has dramatically decreased, so I am not earning nearly as much as I was per blog post. My first instinct was to publish twice as much to make up the difference (which would have been really hard with two kids), but after I took a deep breath in and out, I knew the right thing to do was to step back and know that slowing down right now is ok. I have no desire to stop blogging, but every time I get caught up in the worry of coming up with content week after week, I remind myself that I am the boss here and the pressure is something that I have created.
Beautycounter brings me so much joy
I am SO thankful to have Beautycounter in my life, and I had no idea a year ago it would grow to be such an integral part of my overall online business. At least for the present time, I have been so grateful that I have a second gig that is not tied to pageviews or ads that I can still work from home. I joined the company just over a year ago for two main reasons: to be part of something bigger that I was excited about and to diversify my income. That diversification is helping a lot right now, although I know nothing is guaranteed in this economy. I want to say thank you for each and every one of you who has placed an order through me. Your loyalty is so very much appreciated, and I hope you continue to love your products!
Wine on the weekends got thrown out the window
I am sure a lot of people are drinking more than usual. Chalk it up to feeling like we’re on a staycation or the spring warm weather. Or maybe it’s just so we have something to look forward to at the end of the day. But for the first 3 weeks of staying at home I had wine every night. Then guess what I realized? I wasn’t feeling that great. So I took a few days off and felt better. Past Kath should have reminded Future Kath why she created the “wine on the weekends” rule to begin with! I’ve settled back into the weekday vs. weekend routine with a few weekday glasses here and there.
Lastly: I really, really miss playing soccer. That is all.
Stacey says
Love these posts! I have a 18 month old a few weeks older than Birch and a 3 year old and I’m sure they both watch more than whatever is officially “recommended.”I actually wish they liked it more than they do because they lose interest after a while and I need them to sit still for a few minutes! Little baby bum on Netflix is my 18 month old favorite if you’re looking for recommendations (which I don’t think you are…). If we get outside and run around in the morning and afternoon then I count it as a great day. You’re doing a great job!
Kath Younger says
Haha, I will have to check out Little Baby Bum! Maybe the experts would disagree, but I think the educational shows that teach shapes, colors, manners, letters, etc. are so much better than flashy cartoons.
Nadeanne says
My almost 1 year old LOVES Little Baby Bum! She gets a huge smile on her face as soon as she sees it coming up on Netflix. She loves all the songs and sometimes bounces along to the music. Gone are the days when random pop songs would get stuck in my head…now it’s LBB tunes!
Teresa says
Yep!! At 18 months when we got Hand Foot Mouth my kiddo refused all food and liquids for days, but when we tried LBB she was transfixed and would drink water and sip a popsicle and suck down her medicine. It was a life saver but it did unfortunately kick off the screen time before 2. But ya know what? She is amazing and bright and at 3.5 still loved LBB haha. Kath thanks for being vulnerable and sharing. I am loving cooking through this isolation period. I put on a show around 4pm and cook for an hour alone and it feels so nice. Definitely easier with one kid tho. I am glad you have access and affordability for meal services to make life easier. We all gotta do whatever we need to to make it though this.
Sarah S says
So much of this post resonates with me these days. I have a 4 year old and almost 2 year old. My oldest barely got any screen time before two, other than FaceTiming with relatives and looking at pictures (of relatives). My youngest…has watched Frozen more than once. It’s hard to allow some screen time for the older one without exposing the younger one. And you know what – it gives us all some sanity and much needed relaxation these days! Same with cooking – we eat a lot of “finger salads” or “smorgasbords” – basically veggie, meat, and cheese plates for lunch or dinner. We are trying to work full time jobs and provide full time childcare from home now and providing reasonably healthy meals before we all get too hangry is my #1 priority. I’ve struggled with giving myself grace on this and having to slow down. My hours worked have definitely gone down due to having to provide child care. The time with the kids is so precious, but it is stressful trying to balance everything and have time left for ME and my marriage.
Shana says
I’ve always loved your blog no matter which direction it goes and appreciate that you always stay true to you. I hope that reader opinions never sway how you live your life and you continue to do what works for you and your family whether its tv time, enjoying prepared food so you can attend to little people, working more or less, and just existing without a commentary on your daily choices. Hope your family stays well and we all come out of this time with more resilience and an appreciation for the things that are truly important.
Kath Younger says
Thank you Shana <3
Tara Langer says
Could NOT agree more- you are doing great mama! We are all in this together 🙂
Tara says
Our wee girl got a little too comfortable with Daniel Tiger so we pushed pause and removed it from her for a few weeks. We will start letting her have one episode a day when she gets a bit older.
Jennifer says
My kids watched Pinkfong & Little Baby Bum (and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse) before two. I was working a full time job I needed something to distract them while I made dinner, folded laundry, or to just give me a break! I feel zero guilt about this. My kids are just fine and yours will be too :).
Kath Younger says
I’m sure we all watched TV “early.” I used to watch a LOT of Nickelodeon! Like every day x3 hours. They were such good shows! I’m not worried and I hope other people aren’t for me 😉
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog says
Awww, you need to put less pressure on yourself! I’m sure everyone would understand if you slow down on one or two blog posts! 🙂
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
Hillary says
Really appreciate your honesty. Ignore the trolls and critics. This is your business and you get to put out what you want to put out. Seasons of life are constantly changing, especially now!
I personally love the collaborations with Plenty – maybe some more recipe sharing there? I think a lot of us are sick of cooking now anyway, so maybe sharing some easy minimal ingredients throw together meals? (i keep thinking of Semi Homemade)
Thanks!
Hillary
Kath Younger says
I hope Della and I can do another round of recipe posts when quarantine is over!
Mel says
I think posts where you pull back the curtain a bit are great to connect for personally with your audience, so i appreciate this post for that. But i have to say, your comment about ‘chalking up’ the increase in drinking for a lot of people to this feeling like a staycation reads as pretty tone deaf. People are scared their businesses will fold. They’re afraid they won’t be able to provide for their kids with the decrease in income. They are anxious they may get sick and possibly die or lose loved ones to this. So due to these and many other stresses, they drink a bit more to help calm those fears. Maybe some people have the staycation feel, but I’d wager it’s far from the majority of folks out there.
Side note, i think a lot of parents are letting screen time increase during this time to keep kids occupied, so i think a bit of Peppa pig is just fine 🙂 My kid loves Umizoomi on Amazon Prime!
Kath Younger says
I think it’s fine that you offer another perspective on why people might be drinking more – stress is definitely a common theme across the country. But to say that I am “tone deaf” because I didn’t point this out is a little harsh. There was a lot of “spring break at home” chatter on social media around staycations, even from people working stressful jobs during the day.
Shelly says
Kath, I agree with Mel. This is not a staycation for anyone! Between the financial hardships, lack of routine, worry and uncertainty I don’t think many people are drinking for pleasure. They are doing it for stress relief and as a coping mechanism. Just please be more mindful and consider other perspectives- just because your social media is filled with these staycation comparisons know that is definitely not the reality or the norm for most others. I don’t think this is being harsh it is just being empathetic and considerate
Lisa says
I agree. This is not a staycation. I am afraid for my child’s life as she has long problems due to prematurity. I live in fear every single day. My mom is also high risk. We have not left our house/yard in 7 weeks tomorrow. And we likely won’t for many months. I am also working part time from home as a speech pathologist and my husband is working full time from home. It is far from a staycation. It is stressful, anxiety provoking, and has no end date. Also, I don’t drink alcohol. I’m allergic (aren’t I lucky?).
As for screen time please give yourself some grace here. Prior to this I would have said limit screen time as much as possible before 2 and after 2 limit to 30 min a day. Now I’m all for screen time. If it helps give you some time to decompress and de-stress or get a little work done go for it. Birch seems to be thriving.
Kath Younger says
You guys need to relax a little. The post isn’t about how everyone is living this la-te-da fun life right now. Everyone is stressed in one way or other. It’s all very polarizing. People are either furloughed or laid off and terrified about money but watching Netflix all day (aka Staycation with worry) or they’re working really hard from home possibly with kids in the mix but getting a paycheck and have job security. The grass is greener for both. Then there’s healthcare which has its own worry far beyond everyone else’s. Half the world is lonely and half would love a day to themselves. This isn’t really FUN for anyone, but let’s make the most of it, especially if we have kids around.
Lucinda says
Lisa, I am so sorry that your family’s health is an added measure of worry.
I am in NYC and have lost colleagues, clients, family – its been very bad. I am partially furloughed and homeschooling – so with worry and mourning and general care of my kids while worrying about work – its really not a staycation “with worry”.
Kath, I know that your experience isn’t universal, however I think its important to remember that many of your readers are struggling with stress at a very different level. I am glad you are able to compartmentalize so well. Its on my doorstep (and it sounds like Lisa’s too) and therefore its not a time I feel relaxed. So I am drinking up a storm.
I hope you and yours stay well.
On a frivolous note, I highly recommend Pokoyo on youtube for little kids. In English and other languages and not annoying for parents at all. Also, I kinda still love Peppa Pig.
Chelsea says
Screentime not being “allowed” is so strange to me. I don’t have kids but I know that my parents plopped me in front of “Sesame Street” long before I was two! I think you (and your boys) are fine!
Denise Blust says
I hope you feel better for telling us your “secrets”. And I hope you’re not getting too many negative replies to your posts. I read another popular blogger’s post yesterday addressing this, and people were still posting negatively IN THE COMMENTS! It’s a crazy time right now, and I get the added stress. But I just go back to “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”. Take care, and you do you. We’ll all be right here!
Bethany says
Hi Kath – i’ve been following you for years and years. I read every single post and i love that you still blog. I miss the other daily blogs i used to read. So i appreciate you keeping it alive. And i 100% get why it’s hard to love to cook right now. My kids are 3 and 5.5 and although we’re out of babyhood, it’s still the balance of eating quickly and something we all will eat. Shame on that person for making you feel bad. I personally love that you show ALL different ways to get some healthy real food into all of your bellies. It makes you more relatable to us other moms and the fact that we do takeout too. And i’m drinking more now too. Cheers!
Kath Younger says
Thank you!
Andrea says
My daughter loved watching Barney before she was 2!! And She’s now 4 but some days during this pandemic she’s watched hours and hours of TV… #surviving you’re doing a great job. Your kids have love and security.
Jill D says
I was born a year after Sesame Street. I know my mom was grateful! I watched with my brother who is two years older than me. I am sure I watched before the age of one. I turned out fine. I am a lawyer…pay taxes and eat most of my vegetables.
Confession – I do not read your blog for recipes although I sometimes get inspiration. I read because your life provides a different perspective than my own. I live in the Midwest and while I am married I have one adult stepson. I appreciate the posts about your life and community. It helps me see the world through different eyes. Reading blogs of different people hopefully makes me a more empathetic human.
Kath Younger says
<3
Sara says
Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. I think you are subjected to a lot of unfair criticism which must get to you as much as you try not to let. I suppose the critiques are the by-product of sharing parts of your life online but truthfully they feel so unnecessary. Hopefully your openness will allow people to see you as the full and complex human that you are. We’re all just doing our best! Keep it up Mama 🙂
The Many Thoughts of a Reader says
I feel ya on cooking with a small child. I love making new things. I do not love making new things while also providing homework support and baby entertaining, which was my life pre-covid. We are actually eating really good and prepared meals because my husband also loves to cook. The luxury of having him working in the basement so his commute has decreased from 40 minutes to 4 seconds is awesome. We’ve had smoked ribs during the week and one of us is always available for kid wrangling during prep time. And NO HOMEWORK AT 5PM because school is done earlier in the day. If I was doing all the things all day plus cooking with him commuting right now I’d go insane. And we’d be eating pbj daily.
Jamie Bergen says
I love these posts! I think the first one was an idea from Jess Lively – I believe she did a podcast version and you linked to her site. That was the first time I ever heard of her and am so grateful that you mentioned her. From Jess I learned about Brook Castillo and both have made my life better – So THANK YOU!
Kath Younger says
Same! I love Jess and Brook Castillo. Brook is my religion!
Steph says
Thanks for sharing about how your love for cooking/creating recipes ebbs and flows. As a mom of three, I couldn’t agree more. I realized recently that I was only trying new recipes on the weekends because I didn’t want to rush…and I know how much I love the process of cooking when I can take my time. Now that my family is home ALL THE TIME, I have been cooking and baking on the weekdays again, but that’s because I’m not playing chauffeur to soccer practices, etc. right before dinner. In that way, I’m grateful for this time. For better or worse, nothing lasts forever!
Blair says
Of course I had to go back and read the other two posts. Questions arise, I remember reading the 2nd one but not the first. Did your ex ever remarry, have more children? Are things still good? Are you sure you only want 2 babies?? You aren’t tempted by a third?? Birch is the cutest. I am currently pregnant with my 4th (from a girl who wanted NONE) and have baby fever so badly I cannot wait to hold this little bean. I miss exercising, riding horses specifically but due to this pandemic as well as my pregnancy it has been put on hold for a bit. Will you get to the beach or waiting until this pandemic ends??
Kath Younger says
Matt has a serious partner, so I hope marriage is in their future. No kids (yet). Things are still good. Yes I’m sure! I will always want more babies, but I am very satisfied and content with two kids. I sure hope we get to the beach, but of course we don’t know what things will look like this summer yet. Congrats on baby #4!
Laura says
Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable with us, Kath! I’ve been a reader for a long, long time (your Charlotte / RD school days!) — as I think of it, I think KERF was the first “healthy living” blog I followed! I remember that I found a link to KERF on a recipe website and I learned how to make banana oatmeal from you. Haha! Mazen and my son were born just a few days apart, and I’ve loved following along all these years. Though I don’t know you in “real life,” I’ve always thought of you as a kindred spirit / source of information for nutrition, organization, and general “life stuff” along the way.
Kath Younger says
Thank you Laura! I have so many digital friends I have never met but would love to meet someday. If there was a way to all get together and enjoy a day of fun I would do it in a heartbeat.
Kim says
From another soccer playing mom– missing soccer is no joke! I’m so sorry! It’s impossible to recreate the game, teammates, adrenaline, etc. I was playing 3 or sometimes 4 games/ weekend (my area only has indoor though, so they weren’t the regulation ones you were doing). I miss it so badly too. Good luck!!
Kath Younger says
Yes!! No workouts compare to team sports. I feel so bad for all the team athletes around the country who are just sitting on pause.
Katie says
Kath,
I applaud your bravery in creating a post where you put it all out there, without a filter. These are your thoughts that make up your story. It’s impossible for those thoughts to resonate with everyone; and if you tried, it wouldn’t be authentic anymore. Keep doing you, it’s why we all love to read your posts!
Kath Younger says
Thank you Katie <3
Cindy Childers says
Love you and your voice/words/insight as you share daily on your blog. I’ve been following you I think since you were prego with Mazen b/c I found your blog when I was pregnant with my 3rd, Levi. He’s 7! Honestly, I am not bothered one iota that your content changes here and there and everywhere. I generally just love hearing your stories. I too am a Mama (of 3), wife (to a US Navy pilot), been stationed in UK (for 6 years now!), a Bible study teacher to some awesome ladies here in Salisbury, a Grad Student myself (In London on Mondays) getting my Masters in Theology –Woo hoo!!! Life is good and life is full and life can be crazy, but you and only about 2 other blogs keep me topped up each day with some lovely mom-normalcy stuff and its just plain fun. So keep being YOU! God bless, Cindy
Kath Younger says
Thank you Cindy!!
Kimberly says
I adore your blog. Thank you for sharing your life with us. The naysayers can invest time in someone else’s blog if they want to. You can’t please everybody. Just know that your blog is very appreciated.
Kath Younger says
Thanks so much Kimberly <3
Kori says
I will never understand how some people can get so worked up by a phrase or sentence. You have shared this hasn’t been a breeze, an exciting time, something you’re enjoying. The world is suffering, you have acknowledged that. But it does feel like a “staycation” in that you are putting on a brave face, a smile for your children, you fill your days with school and activities, and it does not have to all be somber. I appreciate your transparency and for sharing your heart in this post.
Kath Younger says
Thank you for articulating this. <3
Kori says
You are very welcome. <3
Tracy says
I love these posts! Thanks, Kath! I got excited when I read the title because I remember the first 2. It was a lot more fun to read than the comments. Sheesh. I view your posts as a light distraction from all the hard news. Fun to read. Thanks again!
Tracy says
Also all 4 of my kids watched TV before 2 and they’re all successful young adults and doing just fine. They also spent a lot of time outside and creatively playing. Balance!