Eat To Live Or Live To Eat?
Back when I started KERF in 2007, I would have labeled myself as someone who “lives to eat.” The percentage of time that I thought about food was high. My brain was often drifting to thoughts like: What should I have for a snack? What can I do to prep for dinner? What would be a good recipe for the goat cheese in the fridge? I would never have dreamed of skipping a meal and rolled my eyes when people said “I forgot to eat!” (How naive of 24-year-old me.) In general, I’d say my enthusiasm for food was high. That’s what would have made me declare “I live to eat!”
How I shifted towards eat to live
I used to have a lot more time
My life today is very different than it was in 2007. I was young, I had no kids, I had just finished a year of weight loss, I had learned to cook for myself, and I was enmeshed in learning about nutrition. While I was working in PR, I was bored most of the time. Planning meals helped keep me entertained. Once I changed my career path to go back to nutrition school, I was taking courses about eating habits and food science. It’s no wonder food was on my mind!
Thinking about kids > Thinking about food
At age 37 (!) with two kids underfoot, I have absolutely forgotten to eat. Sometimes I do think that I simply “eat to live” to get out the door or be able to move on to the next activity. The biggest shift has been the amount of time my brain is available to even think about my own meals. Having one and then two kids dramatically reduced that time. It also dramatically increased the frequency of times I prepare mini meals and clean the kitchen, so the last thing I want to do when I do have some time to myself is make another mess!
My relationship with food has changed too
My relationship with food has also changed for the better over the years. I went from knowing very little about healthy eating in college to becoming an expert. My mind has settled somewhere in the middle where healthy eating has become habitual and something I enjoy for the way it makes me feel but don’t obsess about.
I still enjoy food, the process of eating, restaurants, cooking (when I have time to myself!), and creating recipes when I am doing it. But as a ratio to the rest of my life, the percentage of time I spend thinking about my next meal is dramatically smaller. I think this is a good thing.
Having the choice to live to eat
Choice is a privilege. There are many people in this world whose life circumstances mean they are forced to eat to live. They would love to have an abundance of resources, time, and options. Having the time to plan your meals, cook, shop, or go out to eat is a gift. I think it all boils down to priorities and passions: Do you live to eat? Live to run? To knit? To travel? Where do you choose to spend your free time?
The middle is a good spot to be
Nothing in life is black and white, and you don’t have to necessarily check one box or the other. Everything is a spectrum. Huff Post calls it Soulful Eating. But I do think the middle is a good spot to be. You don’t want to obsess about food and you want your life to be filled with happy and purposeful things in addition to food. You also want to eat mindfully and healthfully and don’t want to shove food in simply for the sake of keeping your heart beating.
Kori says
I love & appreciate this message so much! In 2007, I, too, was learning about nutrition & inhaling (so punny ?) all the information I could! Sadly, my interest turned obsessive, & disordered eating took shape. It took a very long time, but I ultimately got out of that way of living & now feel I’m also in the middle. I do enjoy cooking & sharing my creations on my blog (a blog that was made possible by being inspired by you & with your help getting it started!), but here lately, I’ve realized how many other things I love too. I love that people associate me with cooking & good food, but I want to be more than that. Thank for this.
KathEats says
<3 Love your new blog name!
Kori says
Thank you so much!
Marissa says
I definitely live to eat! Even with 3 kids 4 & under, I will say that I’ve never really forgotten to eat a meal. Maybe that’s bc I’ve been nursing for 4+ years, who knows?! I truly enjoy the process though of shopping for food, preparing it & eating it. Time is very limited these days, so meal prep has shifted. I’m excited for the times when I do have the time & energy to cook a bit more!
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog says
I feel like my relationship with food was really bad at one point, improved, but now it’s bad again. I’m constantly yo-yoing. Thanks for this post.
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
KathEats says
If you feel that its bad again you might want to speak with a counselor or dietitian to get some support. I wouldn’t want bad to go to worse. <3
Kelli H says
I live to eat. I went to culinary school in 2005 and have been meal planning ever since. I love being able to creat meal plans that are healthy and satisfying for my family. By doing so my husband m, myself, and my daughter eat very well. Much better than most people I know but it takes a lot of time. I spend hours each week between creating meals, shopping, prepping, and cleaning. Sometimes it frustrates me but other times I feel extremely lucky that I’ve decided to use my knowledge to feed my family. Of course mama needs a break sometimes and I also loveeeee when other people cook for me! I’m sure whenever we have another baby I’ll have to put it all on the back burner for a bit and use helpful resources like delivered groceries and meal prep kits. I’m grateful there are services out there like that to help people out.
Jenny says
Admittedly, my relationship with food is currently terrible. My husband does keto, I have a picky four-year old, and I take a migraine medication that has destroyed my appetite. I forget to eat all the time, and I have no interest in it. I don’t really get hungry. At the end of the day, by the time I’m finished being a short-order cook for my boys, I don’t want to make anything for myself. Add to that the fact that I have no interest in food and it’s a total mess. I think this post is a really helpful reminder that I need to start examining my relationship with food more closely and realizing that I’m fortunate enough to have resource and options for help. Thanks for this!
KathEats says
Thank you for sharing, and I wish you the best
Elly says
Beautifully written as always! Thanks for adding the “HAVING THE CHOICE TO LIVE TO EAT” portion.
AMY says
I used to go to bed every night dreaming about what fancy breakfast oatmeal I would be making in the morning (inspired by your years of oatmeal!). Now with two littles my head hits the pillow and I am OUT. I am a speedy chef now; no time or resources for elaborate meals, not to mention the potential wastage with picky kids. I do certainly miss my previous life sometimes; playing in the kitchen was fun! I can’t believe that cookbooks used to be my reading material of choice LOL. Now I spend my downtime reading actual books ha.
KathEats says
Haha same!
Meghan says
What an interesting post that really got me thinking! I definitely was a live to eat person for most of my life. I read cookbooks, rarely made the same dinner twice a month, and cooking was my hobby. Now we have three kids and have been in a very busy season for about four years. Now it’s: what is quick, most of the kids will enjoy, and what ingredients do I have on hand? (I loosely meal plan.) 90% of the time for breakfast and lunch my food choices need to be quick, nutrient dense, and filling. What I “want” to eat matters less.
I used to always be thinking about my next meal too! I completely forgot about that!
Ani says
Live to eat all the way. Even now I’m thinking about the Greek salad that I’m going to have for lunch. This year has been completely transformative for me. I lost 27 pounds and reached my goal weight by changing the way that I ate and thought about food. I’ve also adopted intermittent fasting, and it literally changed everything. I am making better food choices and feeling better physically than I ever have. I find that enjoying food while trying to lose weight is key. When I’m limiting myself or trying to not eat certain things I get depressed, and ultimately end up eating the thing I was trying to avoid. When I balance and make good choices, I feel so much better about myself.