I wanted to check in and share how being a mom of two is going and how the brothers are bonding.
Mazen is very sweet to Birch. He runs through the house with his friends and stops to pat Birch’s head or give him a kiss. Day by day, he is getting more affectionate and now asks to hold Birch (briefly!) We still call him Brother a lot of the time – a habit from when he was on the inside that has been tough to break!
Please disregard the ripped pants 
All of Mazen’s pants from last winter have ripped left knees!
Mazen often comes up first thing in the morning for a visit to us both and always gets excited when Birch wakes up and opens his eyes. Birch has started to track our faces, and he looks very intently at Mazen.
Naturally I call Birch all kinds of cutesy names – Mr. Birch, Little B, Cutie Bean, Snuggle Pumpkin (sorry, I know those are annoying!!). But what’s funny is that Mazen has adopted the names as well and will say with a serious face “When do you think Cutie Bean will wake up?” His affection towards B has been my favorite part of watching him become a big brother.
Mazen doesn’t like it when Birch cries, and he’s tried to help me soothe B a few times. I can’t wait until Birch is old enough to respond to Mazen’s face and Mazen can make him smile and laugh! That will give Mazen a whole new role and sense of pride, I’m sure.
As for being a mom of two boys, it’s been both really hard and fairly easy depending on the moment. Easy in this moment when I was able to take a shower with B happy in his seat and Mazen playing Pokemon cards on my bedroom floor:
And hard when I was nursing on the couch and heard Mazen and our neighbor discussing how best to “sled” down the stairs in a cardboard box – eek! I had to jump up and intervene. It’s much harder to keep track of what Mazen is up to when I’m stationary while nursing or changing a diaper (or even just having a baby in my arms).
What I have realized though is the power of my voice. Even though my hands are often tied up, my voice is always available. Things I used to do myself I’ve been able to delegate through voice. One night I was able to verbally walk Mazen through how to draw his own bath in my tub. He turned on the faucets, adjusted the temperature, added bubbles, got his bathrobe and some toys, and got in the bath all by himself.
I’ve been able to play Legos using my voice too. Mazen controls my person by making her walk or get in a Lego car, but I make her talk.
When I read stories at bedtime, Mazen holds the book and turns the pages, and I read the words.
Mazen has been really helpful too if I need some water or for him to retrieve something simple. I’ve stocked our pantry with a lot more single serve snacks. That way if he needs a snack he can get it himself, already portioned out and at his reach.
I know age gaps are often not planned, but I am loving ours! Mazen understands so much of what’s going on and we haven’t had any jealously/behavior issues (yet, at least). And while they might not ever be close enough in age to play toys together, I have no doubt that their brotherly bond will be super strong. And I’m not gonna lie: it has been awesome to have Mazen be in school for the majority of the day. I seriously do not know how people have newborns and 2 year olds at home all the time! You moms have some super energy.
I do feel a little guilty (for lack of a better word?) that Mazen spends time at Matt’s so I have breaks from having both kids in my care. But I will say that during these early, sleep-deprived days, that has been such a blessing, especially when school is out or on the weekends when Matt takes Mazen out for activities.
Our most challenging times with two have been at 6 am when I’m nursing, still half asleep and disheveled, and Mazen refuses to get out of bed without me. Thomas has been so helpful though, and he makes Mazen a smoothie and helps me get him out to the bus. (I can’t imagine if I had to drive him to school every morning! Three cheers for the bus!) Because this all happens so early, there’s not much I can do to plan around it, like nurse Birch earlier or get up earlier – because I am so desperate for sleep myself. We’re working on it all though!
See the necklace that I’m wearing in this photo?
Here’s a close up. Thomas gave me a gift certificate to Stella and Dot for our wedding anniversary so that I could pick out an engravable piece with the boys’ names. I knew immediately that this rose gold pave wood necklace was perfect and had their initials engraved. I love it!
Overall I feel the same as many mothers do: double the kids, double the love!
Barbara Younger says
You’ve written a lot of wonderful post, but I must say, I think this one is my favorite. Happy to be a grandma to those darling boys!
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog says
This post is so precious! Mazen’s such a great big brother to Birch already 🙂
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
Pam says
Such adorable boys! I am 5 years older then my sister and we always played together! I loved to play with her growing up and would tell people I “had” to play with her but I really loved it. The only time difficult time we had was in my teen years, but for the most part we had a bond and each other’s backs. We are adults now and the best of friends. My Mom encouraged our support of each other as siblings, but also made sure she let me know my sister was not my responsibility… of course that didn’t work 😉 !
KathEats says
That is so sweet to hear! I hope they will still play together too.
Colleen says
So sweet! I’m so glad to hear Mazen has been embracing his new role as big brother!
Susan says
You have such a lovely family, Kath. We are so happy for you!
KathEats says
Thank you!
Stacey says
I enjoyed reading this too. I have 2 girls: 8-months old and 3 1/2… the age gap is pretty good too but we had some jealousy in the beginning. Mostly I think because my husband travels quite a bit for work so my oldest is used to me doing just about everything all the time with and for her. Then once baby Vera came I needed to rely on my husband more to help with Lena when he was home and I think that frustrated her – she actually took it out more on my husband than she did me. But mostly, like Mazen, she “needs” me to get her up, give her baths etc. It’s gotten quite a bit better in the last few months but if she’s having an off day it can rear it’s ugly head 🙂 It is a lot thought about creativity like you said and still finding ways to show them you do have time and WANT to play when you can… so by using your voice and participating in Legos I think is great. It’s amazing what little things we can do really help brighten their days!
And IMO, don’t feel guilty for ‘using’ Matt when he’s scheduled (or not!) to be with Mazen… it’s no different than someone having a friend over to keep their oldest occupied or sending them to a grandparent’s for the day/weekend. We all do what we can in the moment — so much easier to say and believe now though vs in the beginning fueled by hormones 🙂
KathEats says
You are right!
Angela says
You are totally rocking being a mom of two! I just watched your makeup Insta – girl l, I was in an old milk stained t-shirt and yoga pants and there you are looking so glam!
KathEats says
LOL!
Carla Reyes says
I understand what you mean about feeling guilty for needing a break – was just crying to my husband last night about the thought of scheduling a babysitter on the weekend so we could actually clean our house (2 FT working parents with a 1 year old does not make for easy home upkeep!), but think of it this way – that’s what partners and families are FOR – to come alongside each other and support each other, and that definitely involves turn-taking in childcare responsibilities! I’m sure Thomas is happy to help with Mazen, especially as to an extent his opportunities to help with Birch are limited due to not having the breastmilk! I know my own husband often felt left out, so he felt really good about helping in any other way I needed! Divide and conquer is definitely the way to go in these early days!
Susan says
My girls are five years apart and I LOVED IT. I never had to choose whose classroom to volunteer in or whose class party to attend or whose conferences to miss. There was some rivalry during the years when they were 4 and 9 until they were 6 and 11 – mostly about who got to sit by mom at a restaurant and other silly things. Also, beware when B can play with M’s toys, There was some possessiveness over toys on the part of my normally easygoing older daughter when her sister wanted to touch her things.
They are now 21 and 16, and get along as well as two complete opposites can get along. I think they’ll end up as friends as soon as my younger daughter is a fully mature adult.
Liz says
My oldest is having a hard time getting used to saying her new sister’s name too! I had baby #3 2 weeks ago and my 3yo still calls her “New Baby Girl” instead of her name 🙂 It is quite cute, though, and I bet I’ll miss it once she starts using the baby’s actual name!
KathEats says
Awww!!
Mary says
Good to read this- my 2nd is being evicted tomorrow, with a similar age gap to your boys, and I do wonder how it’s going to be with two.
Tracy says
Those eyes! So beautiful! Your boys are too cute <3
That's great that Mazen gets to spend quality time with his dad while giving you a much needed break. Win win!
You're a natural mom of 2!
Megan says
So happy for you; sounds like you guys are surviving and thriving 🙂 Keep shaking off the rough moments and embracing all the amazing ones <3 Sounds like you're doing a great job of that!
Kelli @ Hungry Hobby says
you are doing a great job and what a wonderful opportunity for mazen to gain some supervised independence! I love the story about him making his own bath I think that’s wonderful!
Carrie Keck says
My son’s name is Burch. His nickname has always been Burchy, or Burchy Boo. He’s 14 now, and I still call him that at times. As do some of his friends. 🙂 Congrats on your new Birch!
KathEats says
Aww so fun to meet another! My latest has been Birchington -haha!
Jennie says
The age gap closes as they get older. There is 6 years between my little brother and I. In my teens he was nothing more than annoying. In our thirties, we are best friends.
Emily says
Love that last family photo. Glad to see things are going so well with Mazen’s adjustment to being a big brother!
Heather says
My boys are almost six years apart. My youngest cane the fall that my oldest was in Kindergarten. They are now 14 (he turns 15 next week) and 9. It is the best. They do play together… legos and video games usually these days. They call each other their best friend. My oldest loves his little brother. Those same things you pointed out that Mazen does to help now only intensify. The other night my husband was out of town and I had to get some work done due to an emergency. My oldest asked if I would like him to put the youngest to bed. I had mom guilt but also realized what a great kid I’ve mostly raised. The boys are adorable!
KathEats says
Awww that is so sweet!!
Allison says
My kids call each other “brother” and “sister.” I call my daughter “sister-girl” as a pet name. My dad and brother both called me “sissy” the entire time we were growing up. Maybe the “brother” name will stick!
KathEats says
So cute!
Liz says
My brother and I are 6 years apart. We weren’t very close when we were little, but we are so close now!! You’re doing an amazing job. I’m due with my second in January (first born will be 2.5 years old), and it’s so nice to see your posts about juggling two kids!
Catherine says
I am 16 years older than my youngest brother, and he has called me “sister” since he could talk. I love it so much and for some reason, I find it so endearing. I will be sad if he ever grows out of it!