B had his best night of sleep to date this week! 6 hours plus 4 hours with just one nursing session in between. I think he missed his bassinet while we were gone. He wasn’t crazy about it during the first month when he slept in the rock and play, and I was regretting the expensive purchase. But we tried the bassinet again at the one month mark, and now I am SO glad we bought it! I love that he’s right next to me in both proximity and height. He seems to like it too, and he wiggles himself over to the mesh side so he’s as close to me as possible. It’s quite cute!!
A few people asked me about tips for sleep yesterday on Instagram. I feel like it’s so subjective that I don’t know if anything I say will work for another baby, but I figured I would still share a few things we’ve been doing.
Timing
We try to keep him up for a little more than 2 hours before an 8:30 bedtime. So we try to end the last nap by 6:30. This doesn’t always happen, and sometimes he sleeps into the 7:00s and has luckily still gone to bed at 8:30 or 9. We don’t want to wake a sleeping baby. But it’s something we aim for that we think has been working. The 8:30 bedtime just kind of happened, and I think now his body clock remembers because he goes down really well at this time almost every night.
Most nights he does a 4-6 hour stretch (typically 5.5-6) and then a 3-4 hour stretch for the second one. When he wakes up, Thomas changes his diaper and brings him to me and I nurse for about 20 minutes (10 per side), re-swaddle, and then place him in the bassinet. Some nights he grunts around for 10 minutes and other nights he goes right back to sleep. I will say that occasionally he has woken up at the 2-3 hour mark and he’s gone back to sleep after Thomas picks him up and puts him back down, fairly quickly. I try not to nurse him if it’s been less than 4 hours, but of course I would if he did not want to settle back down.
The Setting
- Kickee pants footie pajamas or a gown
- Ollie swaddle
- White noise from the Hatch
- Dark room
- Halo Bassinest (the one with vibration)
After his last nursing session, we check diaper, swaddle, walking around with him on our shoulder for just a few minutes and then place him in the bassinet. He’s usually still awake but very drowsy. Sometimes he wakes back up quite alert or never gets drowsy and I fear we’re going to have a hard time getting him to sleep, but by some miracle he eventually goes to sleep on his own. See below!
Observe and Pause
I think I accidentally sleep trained Birch a little one night when I was just soooo exhausted I put him down instead of rocking and shushing him and laid down myself “just for a few minutes.” I would wait for him to cry and pick him back up for more soothing. He was “fussing” — grunting around and making lots of noises — but not crying. And then I woke up a few hours later! I realized that his noises were not actually a sign he was unhappy but that’s just how he settles himself down for sleep. I am not sure I would have realized this otherwise because he sounds sort of uncomfortable and you might be tempted to pick him up (again, he’s not crying – just making noises). He does it half the time when he falls asleep and he never cries and wakes up totally fine. I was never able to put Mazen down “drowsy but awake” but that has worked for B ever since. So my only advice is to just experiment with not picking the baby up until he/she is actually upset. And even then just pause and observe for a minute to make sure they really need you.
But again – I really don’t know if all of the above was actually what worked or if we just got lucky! And as we all know, things might change tonight. Fingers crossed!
Naps
Naps, on the other hand, are a total wild card. Here’s the nap times we’ve been getting in various places:
- In his car seat or stroller = 2-3 hours
- In the Solly or Boba wrap = 1.5 – 2 hours
- Lying next to me in our bed – 1-1.5 hours
- In a swing or bouncy seat = ~20-30 minutes
- In any kind of baby bed (bassinet, crib, dock a tot) on his back = <15-20 minutes
I have replicated our nighttime set up as described above, minus the dark room part because we don’t have blackout shades, and he has fallen asleep much like he would for nighttime only to wake up after only 20 minutes or so. I have no idea why? I never expected to have a baby who napped well because Mazen never did, so I’m just rolling with the great nighttime situation and doing lots of baby wearing for now!
We follow the eat –> play –> sleep routine where eat + play is about 90 minutes (sometimes closer to 2 hours) and sleep is usually 1.5-2 hours (because I’m usually wearing him). He usually goes through 4 cycles a day, unless he takes an unusually long nap.
Also: we use a paci for naps, and B LOVES his hip hop music! It’s much more pleasant than white noise for me too 🙂 I dance around with him till he’s ninight.
Lil says
How does it work out with Thomas changing the diaper each time? I considered doing this as well but my
Husband has to work in the morning and I didn’t know if that way was better /allows more sleep or to take shifts.
KathEats says
Since were only up once or twice it’s not too bad. I like sleeping in the same bed so I prefer this to shifts. While he does the diaper I get all set up with pillows and things.
Liz says
My hubby changes the diapers at night too! He says since I’m in charge of milk-in, then he will be in charge of milk-out. ? It is fantastic to not have to do everything as the mom, and we both get decent amounts of sleep. He’s never complained about being too tired for work any more than I complain about being tired for work!
KathEats says
Milk in, milk out – lol!
Sarah says
My baby is similar age and similar schedule- decent night sleep, terrible naps if not worn.
I do the night diapers and the feedings because my husband so late enough sleep or that we can still share the same room and I don’t see much point in interrupting his sleep. And rather him be more rested so you can help me out with the next day better. If he doesn’t have a morning obligation he will give a BM bottle around eight or nine and I try to sleep in and pump later. So we do kind of do shifts but we still get to share a bed. We’ve been doing all day time naps in the crib because the nursery gets darker than our bedroom. But lately they are still only 45 minutes.
Lisa says
I think keeping him up before bed is probably the thing we need to work on. When we have witching hour, then we usually have a nice long sleep stretch. But when our girl naps right before bed, her long stretch isn’t so long. Going to try to play more before bedtime.
And yes to the grunting! Our eight week old shakes her head and grunts to fall asleep, so we let her do her thing.
Thanks for the tips!
KathEats says
It’s hard to keep him awake but a bath usually helps fill the time!
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog says
The photos are so darling, Kath! Hope you’re enjoying your time with Baby Birch. 🙂
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
Denise says
I can still remember the “miracle” of figuring out we needed to eliminate the late nap and my son would sleep through the night! He’s almost 29 ha ha! Of course, we didn’t figure it out the first time, but we sure paid attention the second time. Of course, both times, it happened on my husband’s night to get up!
KathEats says
Haha!
Caroline says
I feel ya on the short naps in the bassinet! My little guy is a week older than Birch and was a great napper until he hit 8 weeks. Now he sleeps pretty well at night, but will pretty much only nap if he is in my Solly wrap. I’m wondering if he needs more awake time. Does Birch seem really alert when you keep him up before bed or do you just keep him up despite a few yawns?
KathEats says
He definitely starts to get tired. He does what I call his “kitten cry” when he’s tired 🙂
Cynthia says
My little one is 2 months old as well and kind of experimenting the same as you, really working on laying her drowsy but awake but it’s hard! I will take your advice to really wait until they are upset/ let them try on their own. Our naps are also all over the place, rarely getting more than a 45 min nap! It will get easier I am sure however, thanks for sharing !!
KathEats says
Good luck to you too!
Vicki says
I think it’s swings and roundabouts.
My son always slept Well at night but did very Short naps. My daughter would nap for hours but Woke Multiple times at night.
I preferred the longer night time sleep from my son!
KathEats says
Yup I think you’re right! I’ll take nights too, especially since if I wear him I can have both (even though crib naps would be ideal for productivity). I do love all the snuggles : )
Marissa says
For naps, I totally suggest getting the blackout curtains! They’ve made all the difference for both of our girls naps. A great money saving trick- go to the fabric store & just buy some blackout material. Hang this under your blind or curtain. Works great & you can take it down easily when you’re done with it.
KathEats says
He’s in our room for now which I don’t want to black out but I think I definitely need to black out his nursery sooner rather than later…
Miriam says
You’re lucky to be so well rested at this stage in the game! He’s adorable!
Mary says
I have a 4 month old and after re-reading Dr. Sears because he sleeps differently than my first, I loved how he has a tip that when people ask how your baby sleeps, a person should say “like a baby!” They’re designed by nature to wake frequently so it put my mind at ease 🙂
Laura says
I think baby sleep doesn’t have much to do with what you do, it’s developmental and depends on the baby’s temperament too. My baby is seven weeks and for the first five he was a great sleeper and napper. Week six though I noticed he’s a lot more alert and aware and of course he had trouble settling down to sleep. I think we are way less in control than we realize! We tend to attribute good sleep with something we are doing right and bad sleep with something we are doing wrong, but I think baby sleep is just completely all over the place and depends on so many things.
For babies, lactation consultants say crying is a really late sign that babies need to eat (or need something in general). They usually tend to try to let you know they need something by making small noises or grunting for example. I’m not sure that crying is the only way a baby expresses to you a legitimate need. And how do we determine what’s a legitimate need and what isn’t?
KathEats says
I think temperament/nature definitely plays a role, but nurture does too. Who knows what percentages though?
I always feed him last before bedtime so he is well fed when I put him down (and after his middle of the night feeding), so I am fairly confident hunger is not the cause of the grunting. B usually eats his hands when he’s hungry and starts rooting.
Lisa says
I agree. My daughter is 2 and is just not a good sleeper, no matter what we do. She was a preemie and spent her first 2 months in the NICU. Our pediatrician chalks it up to that. Who knows if she had been full term…she may still just have been a bad sleeper? I always chuckle when people claim to have found the perfect way to get their baby to sleep. Congrats…what works for that baby may not work for other babies. In the meantime I just remind myself my daughter is here and alive. I could be sleeping 10 hours a night with zero interruptions…and that almost happened because she very nearly didn’t survive. Broken sleep sucks but it’s a part of being her mom, which is the greatest gift I know.
Rachel says
I have a 3 month old who is a champion sleeper in her own crib, unswaddled on her belly – I know it’s a “no no” but there are no blankets and she takes (2) 3-4 hours naps a day in there! We have those cheap blackout paper shades – THEY ARE AMAZING. Can not recommend enough. At night she sleeps 7:30-8:00 with a nurse at 2-3. It is HEAVEN!