A few weeks ago I put a questions box on Instagram and said “Ask me anything!” I love reading these kinds of posts from other people with a mix of topics!
Do you have any plans for your birthday this year? (40?)
I’m reading this question as “Do you have plans for your birthday this year when you turn 39 or the year you turn 40” 😆 I don’t have plans yet, but I am planning a trip with some girlfriends for the fall (we’ll all be vaccinated!) and it might end up being a birthday trip. No plans for a big party at 40!
What’s your ennegram?
I’m a 3!!! (Did you guess right?) I actually have a post coming up about personality types. Try to guess my other ones (Myers Brigs, 4 Tendencies, etc).
I love your finance related posts. Maybe something about how you’re saving for retirement?
When I was 22 and started working full time I didn’t want to think about retirement because it seemed SO FAR AWAY. I didn’t even know what career I’d be in or what life would look like. I still set up a 401k at my first job and contributed to Roth because I knew it was the “right thing to do.”
While I still don’t really know the where or when of actual retirement, now that I’m 40 I feel that much closer – lol. I believe in a “slow and steady wins the race” mindset but also the more you dump into your accounts, the faster you’ll be able to reach financial freedom where you get to decide what retirements looks like rather than your age or situation deciding for you. That’s ultimately what I’m chasing – the freedom to choose. We’ve been saving aggressively for a while now in a mix of different accounts: a SEP IRA for me, SIMPLE and Traditional IRAs for T, and Roths the years we are eligible.
Will Birch and Mazen have any more siblings? Human or fur?
When Thomas and I met he wanted to have 2 more children, and I was perfectly happy with one. I reminded him he hadn’t experienced age 0-3.5 yet and might change his mind.
One night recently both kids were crying and we were overwhelmed, and he looked at me and said: “You were right.” HA! While I love the idea of having another baby because babies are so cute, I am perfectly happy with two kids – especially since Birch is almost old enough to do all the fun kid things!
I feel the same way about having one dog at a time, so hopefully we won’t be getting a new one for many more years.
What do you guys plan to do with social media and smart phones for Mazen?
I think phones for kids are great because of all the benefits that they bring, so I am pro technology in general. We have an iPad with Facetime, Facebook Messenger for Kids, and some games. He also has a Gizmo Watch that can text and call that we love for him to wear when he’s given a little freedom in the neighborhood and things.
I think when he’s a little older and more responsible, an old school phone that can only text and call is probably what we’ll do. Definitely not handing him an iPhone at age 12 with all the apps loaded on. I think if we had a really trustworthy child we might 🙂
I’m also banking on there being a new smart phone made for kids that comes out in the next 4-5 years. Something like the Kindle Kids Edition where it has basic features but built-in parental controls like the way Facebook Messenger is set up. (Does this exist yet?!)
I really don’t know about social media yet, but I’m all for parental controls until they are waaaaay old.
Favorite OG food blog that doesn’t exist anymore?
RIP Healthy Tipping Point! I’m still friends with C and we’ve gotten together over the years <3
Do you think you guys will ever move from Cville?
Fun question! I don’t think we will move until are kids are grown, if we do. With Thomas’s family all here and many of his life-long friends, plus the business he has built I don’t think we’d want to leave. (Also sharing time with Mazen with his dad would pose a problem.)
I DO think if we have a grown child who moves to a coastal spot (y’all know I love the beach) we could move to be near that said child. I also really want to be a snowbird when I’m older and spend winters in a warm place!
What’s your best marriage advice?
I have a post on marriage coming soon! I think my best advice is to choose your battles and play to your strengths and help them play to theirs.
Simple example: I am more the home organizer and decorator, so Thomas lets me get away with stuff inside that he might otherwise have opinions on and he’s the outdoor loving gardener so I let him call the shots outside.
Do you have any vices or things that get you unglued? You’re always so together!
OMG yes. 99% of the time they are things I just can’t share publicly! Issues with friendships, parenting challenges, rude troll comments (my skin is much thicker now, but sometimes I have a fit with myself because I want to reply but I don’t).
Also: the need for change surrounding gun control, Black Lives Matter, so much frustrating things in the news. I’ve been arguing with an old friend from high school on Instagram who doesn’t “believe” in systemic racism and thinks everyone should have access to an automatic machine gun in their house. DRIVES ME NUTS. I finally had to disengage.
Are you getting (or have you gotten) the vaccine?
YES! I got my second dose of Pfizer yesterday! So very thankful for all the science and research that made it possible. I really hope this is the beginning of the end to this pandemic.
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog says
Thanks for sharing, Kath! 🙂
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
Sandie says
I’ve recently seen Gabb Wireless ads all over the place as a smart phone for kids. Has all the features of a smartphone but no internet and social media apps!
Kath Younger says
Oh cool!! This is exactly what I knew was on the horizon for kids. We will definitely get something like this at some point – prob. when M is a little more careful with his things : )
Denise says
I remember a while back you talking about trolls, and I just couldn’t believe people waste time bringing others down. Think how much better this world would be if that energy was used to uplift others! I’m sorry you have to go through this still – I know it’s really hard not to engage, but it’s probably for the best. And I have lifelong friends who do not believe in racism and do believe in the more guns the better. It’s really hard to meet in the middle on things like that. Last week I was in Richmond VA and posted a picture of the George Floyd monument. A friend commented “lame”. In my best mom voice, I told her if she didn’t have something nice to say, then she shouldn’t say anything! Sometimes you just gotta use the mom voice ha ha ha.
Kath Younger says
How lame of her!
Kim says
Oh man, I can totally relate to your frustrations around old acquaintances and them not being able to see that systematic racism is real, and that maybe automatic weapons for all (“the good guy with a gun”) are not the solution to mass shootings. One former friend is in her next door app complaining with her neighbors that our public school has a whole program teaching kids about systematic racism. I do feel like I have a responsibility to speak up when it crosses my path because mine might be the only voice she hears that supports the program.
Would love to know what your Myers-Briggs type is. Because you’re a three in the enneagram it makes me wonder if your type ends in a j or not.
Yay on the second dose of the vaccine getting out of the way! Mine is too, and slowly but surely my whole family has been and is getting vaccinated. Can’t wait to see people in person again (I’m an ENFP and a seven on the enneagram, so I was made to see people!)
Kath Younger says
ESTJ!!
Vicki says
Loved reading this post Kath! I’d love to hang out with you one day. If you ever return to England it would be fun to meet your transatlantic readers!
Kath Younger says
Yes!
E says
Fun post – I think we need to hear more about what drives you nuts! A good rant is therapeutic! And also, I agree with Denise – feels so much better to lift people up than drag them down.
Congrats on the second vaccine dose – just got my first one yesterday (Canada) and already feel so much relief and hope for a return to normalcy.
Laura says
Yes! HTP was one of my favorites… I learned about and tried so many things from Caitlin’s blog! I was so sad when she decided to stop writing. Oh my gosh — I just looked up her blog and can’t believe it ended in 2015!! Time flies!
Emilie Chamard says
I am a big fan of you blog. Sorry if i can’t express myself well caus I am from quebec ni Canada. You are always very interesting and it’s always a pleasure to read your post. And maybe improve my english
Kath Younger says
Thank you!
Cyndi says
Love these kind of posts that touch on real life, on variety of topics. Thanks for doing this today and hope it might become a regular feature…maybe quarterly/once a season or something like that
Kath Younger says
Sure!
K says
I wonder now if you were thinking I was being sarcastic recently when I left a comment??
No worries, I have been checking in with your blog for years.
Also good for you for expressing your feelings on guns and racism. I feel like so many are afraid to say anything because they might lose followers or become “too political”…..
Kirsten says
I miss HTP too! Loved Caitlin’s blog.
Sarah says
YES I miss Healthy Tipping Point too. I still think about some of her old posts about parenting. Please tell her she is missed 🙂
Katie says
I also miss her blog! I loved her voice.
Tracy says
Charlottesville seems like a great place to live. With all you have there, I’m not sure why you’d leave! However, my parents are snowbirds and I definitely aspire to live that lifestyle in the future. I can relate to your feelings on that!!
Siobhan says
I still think of Caitlin every April Fool’s Day. She made it the most fun.
Kath Younger says
Yes totally!
nicole says
long time reader (for 10 plus years). And, I am disengaging now. You seem so open to ideas and opinions if they are congruent with yours. As a conservative, I can’t support someone who cannot look outside of their own space. I believe my right to own a gun and also raise my children how I want to is MY RIGHT.
Alison says
Bye Felicia.
Liz says
Sounds like you should practice what you preach. You saying you “can’t support someone who cannot look outside their own space” is literally doing the exact thing you’re accusing Kath of. Also, to be fair, she’s not telling you how to raise your children or that you can’t own a gun. She supports GUN CONTROL – that’s different than saying no one can ever own a gun. As a longtime reader myself, there are times when I don’t read this blog as frequently, and times when I read it very consistently. It depends on how much I relate to what Kath is posting or the things she is going through in her own life. If following Kath doesn’t bring you any enjoyment, then I’m sure she’ll be happy for you to move on.
Kate says
So, you can’t support someone who won’t look outside of her own space….and yet , there you are…not looking outside your own space.
Makes total sense?
Jen says
Your right to own a gun stops at my right not to be shot or my child to die at school. You conservatives are all about rights until they extend to equality, equity, and basic human rights (food, water, housing, mental and physical healthcare). Gun ownership is not a right.
Nicole says
I disagree and so does the constitution.
Kath Younger says
That constitution also said women couldn’t vote…
Michelle says
You imply that the Constitution is outdated and should be disregarded. The purpose of the 2nd amendment is primarily a safeguard against government tyranny. Our government is heading that direction! The other purpose is for self-defense. To give you my family’s own perspective, our city’s crime rate has skyrocketed over this past year. Thanks to “Defund the Police”, our police officers are resigning in droves and morale is lower than ever. We have a revolving door in our court system, and criminals go to prison, learn better techniques to commit crimes, and then are right back out on the streets committing the same crimes. Because of our state’s draconian lockdowns, our unemployment, drug addiction, mental health rates are higher than ever. We bought four guns this year, and each person in our family is learning how to use them responsibly. Unfortunately, we can’t reliably count on the police to come to our aid. The last time we called them, it took 45 minutes for an officer to arrive because they are so overwhelmed with calls. I have a feeling that if you and your readers (who DO have a variety of perspectives that are worthy of consideration and respect) were to sit down and have coffee together face to face, there would be a lot more compassion for each other.
Kath Younger says
I DO think the constitution is outdated. That’s why we have amendments!! (And thank goodness for those).
Allison says
OVER THE LINE, KATH! Do not try to tell me that I should care about reducing the deaths of children or improving the lives of my fellow citizens!
Jess says
Why do some people feel the need to post these little tantrums before they go away? Like…it’s a personal blog??? Sorry it doesn’t cater to you perfectly??? There’s always the option to just say to yourself: “hmmm… not for me!” And then just… stop reading and unfollow. Write about it in your journal, literally no one else cares.
Mer says
I don’t think it’s any blogger’s job to look at all sides of any issue if it doesn’t mesh with how they are living their life, especially on a question and answer post. If Kath answered honestly and you don’t like that, you can quietly stop reading. She would never ever know! You are absolutely within your rights to follow only the social media accounts that work for you.
Lorin says
Na na na na na na. Na na. Hey hey hey. Goooodbyeeee
Beth says
Was Kath trying to tell you how to raise your child?
Laura says
Your right to a gun shouldn’t threaten my child’s right to life. I shouldn’t have to fear my children getting shot in public because someone got access to a gun who shouldn’t have. We need strict gun control.
Elana says
There is nothing worse then someone who has to announce themselves before they leave. Starved for attention, much? Buhbye
Emily says
Hey Nicole,
And people have rights to hold differing opinions, beliefs, and values than yours. If you don’t “like” what you’re reading, unsubscribe/ unfollow and go elsewhere.
Bonnie says
It’s not Heathrow…no need to announce the departure.
Cindy says
Kudos for speaking up, speaking louder, and not backing down!
Cindy says
We just moved to the UK for this exact reason. In order, to be near to family, racism and the political climate in the US, and gun control. My husband says we might be “irritated to death by the UK government, but at least or kids won’t get shot in school.” And he’s right. My 5 year old will NEVER have to practice for an active shooter in school while living here, as they are illegal to own. The police don’t even have guns. THIS is the way to live!
Kath Younger says
I actually had no idea England had that level of gun control – kudos to them!
Angie R says
As with most things relating to strangers on the internet (I’ve also been a reader for 10+ years – still internet strangers) – you can stop reading and move on…
There are ways to have constructive conversation even when you disagree.
But – at the end of the day – this is Kath’s space. Her blog, her content. It’s ok to unsubscribe and move along.
https://momsdemandaction.org/
PS – guns in your home significantly increase risk of death by suicide. If you do have a gun in your home,
please keep it secure. https://afsp.org/an-introduction-to-firearms-and-suicide-prevention
Kath Younger says
Thanks for sharing these links
Cass says
thanks for sharing Kath!
I really appreciate your perspective and using your voice. As someone on the East Coast, I would ASSume you were much more conservative. Its refreshing to see I was wrong (and has been from previous posts!).
As a new mom (baby born March 2020) and with the increase in gun violence, my husband (Brazilian born) and I will be packing up and moving pretty much anywhere except the US because what is happening DAILY.
I cannot be afraid to send my daughter to school, shop at the grocery store or simply live life. The US has become the life I do not want to live.
Beca says
On the ROTH IRA: you can always backdoor a ROTH contribution (up to 6K per person per year) even when gross income exceeds the limit.
Kath Younger says
Yes, but I don’t think you can if you are also contributing to a SEP IRA…