I have noticed that I am a lot more mellow than I used to be in certain areas of my life. I have grown to embrace flexibility and just feel more go-with-the-flow than I used to.
Enjoy every workout
// Then I used to exercise Every.Single.Day. I rarely missed a day! I would muster up the willpower to get up at 5am on a travel day to run or if I had a busy day I would find a place and the time to squeeze in a workout. It was non-negotiable. I did a lot more cardio, and didn’t lift weights that often.
// Now Exercise is still very important to me, and I still enjoy it and workout most days of the week. I love the strength classes I take three times a week, my soccer games, the quick runs, and yoga classes I do from time to time. But I take a lot more days off than I used to, and I tend to focus on quality over quantity, and strength over cardio. If exercise doesn’t fit into my day or I don’t feel like working out, I don’t. I think this has been a good change because when I do workout I really, truly enjoy it.
Save time, save water
// Then This is sort of a silly one! I went years and years washing my hair every single day. My hair is fine, and so it shows grease faster than those of you who wash once a week. Sometimes I would wash my hair twice a day.
// Now Thanks to dry shampoo, I’ve been able to chill out on the hair washing a bit. (This is my favorite – smells so good!) My hair seems thicker than it used to be, so I don’t think it looks as bad the next day. And my hair is also so long now that washing and drying is a process. I’ve been able to use dry shampoo in the mornings and sometimes go a day without a wash. Huge time saver! (I do still shower every single day, sometimes twice. Gotta keep up the good hygiene!)
Eat to live or live to eat?
// Then I used to be pedantic about food planning, and I was always thinking about my next meal. I’d pack a day’s worth of snacks and meals to bring to the airport, and I’d make elaborate breakfasts first thing in the morning. I definitely lived to eat! (And I wrote about it three times a day!)
// Now I am so much more laid back about when and how I eat these days. I feel like my appetite isn’t as strong as it used to be, and I’m just not as hungry all the time. Perhaps this is related to doing less cardio? Sometimes I don’t eat breakfast until 9 or lunch until 2, and I have occasionally “forgotten to eat,” something I used to think was crazy. I only have a snack if I’m really hungry, and usually stick to three meals a day. I obviously still care very much about eating real food, good nutrition, and where my food comes from, but I’m not as strict as I used to be. Part of this change is probably just that I don’t have as much time as I used to before Mazen was born. Meals were a process back in the early blogging days, but now my goal is to get something healthy to eat on the table as efficiently as possible.
Large and in charge
// Then I have always been a leader, a planner, and a doer. I’d be the first to offer to plan something because it would give me control over the choices.
// Now I am happy to let other people take charge! I think this is related to becoming a parent, which means my life is more unpredictable, especially when Mazen was younger. There were so many logistics to worry about (feedings! naps! gear!) that I felt overwhelmed if I was also in charge of the beach trip meal plan. These days, I am relieved to sit back and let other people choose the restaurant, plan the vacation, or organize the party. (Don’t think I don’t help out – I just am more go-with-the-flow about the decision making!)
The shift
I think that becoming a mom has been the most significant reason for why some of my habits have changed. Parenthood humbles you and forces you to selflessly focus your time and energy on someone else. It demands flexibility, something that I have really grown to embrace. I was once Type A and now I feel a bit more like Type A-. I’m still particular about some things, but I choose my battles wisely. With all the changes going on at home too, I think I just needed to declutter and create space in my brain a bit. My priorities have shifted, and I am living more in the present.
Have any of you noticed a difference in your personality over time? What about after having kids or a big life change?
Ashlee says
I feel like I’m becoming more introverted as I get older. I still love being social but I really need to have alone time more than I ever did in my early 20s. I feel like that’s fairly common to people I talk to about that!
Andrea says
That’s funny because I feel I’ve become more extroverted as I’ve gotten olde. Maybe we all just move towards the middle!
Kristin says
As a fellow Type-A I completely relate to going through many of these mind shifts after becoming a parent. I just find that the things I used to get worked up about aren’t all that important – not as important as the things that are now *important* if that makes any sense. 😉 Being a parent is stressful but it really forces you to prioritize and put little things into perspective, which has been a wonderful thing for my overall stress level!
Elise says
A shift of fucus, I’d say.
Elise says
Focus
Kori says
Even though I do not yet have children, I can relate to this! I have really let go of so much of my control and my striving for perfection, so to speak when it comes to food and other aspects. I love to learn from Matt’s cooking and approach to certain things, and I appreciate learning to go-with-the-flow more because of him. He’s very much Type B, whereas I am definitely Type A. I love how you stated you’re “Type A-“; that really is how I feel now! It’s as though a weight has been lifted, and therefore, I believe I’m living more. Time is precious and limited, so I’m trying to make the most of the present rather than planning for and worrying about the future.
Ashley says
I think parenting younger kids (babies/toddlers) actually made me less go-with-the-flow, because I worried about every little thing, stressed out about nap times, food choices, etc. Now that mine are older and especially since I’ve been a single mom for the past 3 years, I am much more relaxed about parenting and life in general-it all works out somehow seems to be the main lesson 🙂 I’m pregnant with my third now, so hopefully I can hang onto that attitude!
KathEats says
Yes I’d agree that I wasn’t able to really relax until we were out of the nursing-all-the-time and what-if-he-doesn’t-nap day : )
Teresa says
Ok! That makes me feel better as I’m here nursing my 3 week old- I’m so stressed out and cry all the time!! My type A life is very quickly a thing of the past, can’t even fit in a shower!!
KathEats says
Girlfriend it gets soooo much easier!!
Emily says
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/07/the-unfortunate-reality-of-dry-shampoo/489989/
KathEats says
I don’t use it that often – only when needed – so I’m not terribly worried.
Emily says
For sure! I have a friend who lost her hair with repeated dry shampoo, just wanted to give you a heads up! 🙂
Emily says
*She didn’t lose all of her hair, just small patches at the top. 🙂
Chelsea says
“…With my mind on my money and my money on my mind…” I couldn’t resist-your title has me singing Snoop Dog!
AMEN to the post. I used to plan every single thing and I’m still a planner but I am way more go with the flow than I used to be. I also always thought I’d be the super crafty, pinterest, let’s make our own valentines kind of mom. Umm, I work 40+hours a week-ain’t nobody got time for that!!!! It feels nice to be much more laid back and go with the flow.
KathEats says
Haha agree!!
Alli says
Can so relate to this post. Especially about enjoying exercise. I have a 1 year old and 2 year old and feel like exercise is my much needed “me time” and look forward to it more than I ever have.
Kate says
I love the Type A- statement. I have definitely relaxed so much since getting married. I was a Type B as a kid but became a Type A with school. I thought I returned back to my Type B ways, but Type A- might be more accurate.
I am so glad you’ve learned to take life a little more easy! It goes by so fast.
Audrey says
Yes to dry shampoo! It’s amazing and saves time and water. I’ve also become a shower at night person– with a toddler I don’t have time to shower in the morning. I used to NEED a shower in the morning and now, I like showering at night and being clean when I go to bed!
Lisa Valinsky says
Oh my gosh, yes. Having a baby definitely changed things for me too, but in some ways I’m more laid back, and in other ways I’m less laid back.
I don’t plan out my meals very much anymore, and cooking food is more than ever about speed – quick to cook and quick to clean up.
But one thing I’m more rigid about is hanging certain routines each day. Our daughter is ten months old and I’m currently a stay at home mom, and I’ve found having routines is crucial to my sanity. Our days start the same way (nurse and diaper change, long walk with the dog, then breakfast and playtime), and meals happen around the same time each day. I think it helps me feel more grounded, and I think it’s good for babies and kids to have daily routines.
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul says
My hair is so fine and shows grease if I don’t wash it every day. I’m hoping to one day be able to wait a few days between washes! What dry shampoo do you use?
KathEats says
This one! Smells so good.
Sana says
By Friday my hair is all dry shampoo. I don’t know if it’s super gross but I went to barre and hot yoga last night and just used some dry shampoo while getting ready for work this morning. I will shower after my run that is 100%
Amanda says
I don’t have any kids yet, but I haven’t noticed a change since getting married and buying a house. I used to be the same way with working out. I did it almost every day and would feel terribly guilty on the days I rested. Within the last year, I’ve started cutting back and doing different workouts. I try to work on the guilty feeling and feel better about the quality of my workouts.
Mom says
Lovely post! The trick is when to be laid back and when to dive in full force (like when we need to hope off the couch and find some butter cream cupcakes downtown). You’re doing a great job, and it’s fun seeing laid back and non-laid back tendencies emerge in Maze.
Mallory says
On appetite: I noticed a HUGE decrease in my appetite after I turned 30! Do you think this could be age-related? I used to feel a lot more hungry and excited for each meal and food in general. Now, I similarly feel less hungry, which I think is naturally accompanied by less of an urge to eat and less enthusiasm about it. What do you think?
KathEats says
It definitely could be. Maybe we are subconsciously less active? I definitely walk less than I used to.
Tanya Kummerow says
Oh my goodness, I echo all of these thoughts. I think in large part to becoming a parent. In some ways it has made me more of a planner (can’t forget the diapers) and in others I am much more “go with the flow” My priorities have definitely shifted and dare I say I’m even less selfish. Well I guess in someways. I am so much more selfish about my me-time now and desperately need less social engagements so I can decompress. I think you said it best as Type A-!
natasha says
As soon as I hit 40 things started to shift (all of yours plus more) and I’m single and not a mom. I’ve also found myself being less worried about what others think and being able to just blurt out what I think and not be self-conscious.
I can let things go more easily and laugh/shrug my shoulders at everyone’s (including my own) craziness!
India says
Loved this post. I hope when/if I become a parent, I can become more laid back. I’m nervous I’ll go from crazy to even crazier. Thanks for sharing!
Katie @ Live Half Full says
I would definitely think I’ve mellowed since becoming a Mom! I still meal plan and prep things for the week/day, but I think in general my attitude is way more relaxed!
Katie says
I can totally relate to this! I used to take such pride in being tough on myself before becoming a mom! Working out, getting my doctorate, calorie counting , etc. I would worry a lot about work and being the most successful at the office. I’m so over it! With motherhood came peace.
Rosie says
I loved reading this post. I have also noticed changes in me as I’ve gotten older (I’m 43), become a parent, advanced in my career, etc. Some of the things that were really important to me just aren’t anymore and other habits still stick around but overall think I am much more balanced than I use to be.
Ashley R says
Oh, boy! I agree! Having a child has made me relax on so many things… Many similar to the things you described. I used to plan meals so meticulously and now we’re doing well when I have a general sense of what we’re eating over the week. Dry shampoo is also a must for me. Who’s got the time to wash and dry?!? Not me! I think there’s a lot to learn from little ones. They go with their instincts (hunger, activity, rest) when we allow them. I think we ought to take some of their lead and be more in-tune!
Tonya says
This was a great post! I definitely find myself letting go more. I used to have to always be in charge, but like you I’m allowing myself to step out of the control seat more. Things that used to be so important to me isn’t anymore. I find that more and more I’m able to see the “other perspective” when it comes to things / actions that used to annoy me.
Dana says
YES!!!
One thing that I really need to work on is exercise guilt. I exercise 5-6 times a week and feel MAJOR guilt if I don’t. Have you ever written anything about that? With two young kids, a job and a husband, I find my need to exercise takes over my sleep or time with them yet I feel like I ultimately choose it.
Thoughts??
Shawn says
Hey Kath,
I was wondering how you approach being a dinner guest, or dining out with respect to withholding the value of where your animal products (meat, chicken, etc.) come from. I’m struggling with this because I never know what to do when I’m not the one in control of where these products come from. Would appreciate your thoughts!
Thanks
KathEats says
That’s a good question. I used to eat vegetarian more in public, but at people’s houses I just don’t worry about it. I draw the line with what I buy with my own dollars, but if someone is hosting me I’m going to eat what they eat.
Shawn says
It’s uncomfortable to reject eating something when you are a guest but equally so eating meat that may have come from unethically treated animals. It’s definitely a hard call. Thank you